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Today I hate myself. For everything I've done. because I feel I've done nothing good in my life. I went to college, graduated as an MD, have three (yes, 3) master's degrees in different areas. I speak more than five languages, write in at least 3, understand a native language and feel like I know shit. I feel I am a worthless piece of shit. I am tired. I regret being an unfaithful piece of shit. Have hade great women in my life. have broken hearts of good women. Women who loved me. I do not deserve the love of my life partner. Most likely I have disappointed my parents like forever. My daughter most likely hates me. I really would love to have the courage to get my g&n and finish this. But that would mean disappoint even more the ones that mean something to me. I have hated myself before. And when I don't feel I hate myself I am aware that I worth shit. I hate myself for my weak moments, for my bad decisions, for my fear, for being who I think I am and not for being who I should be. unluckily when I am who I want to be... people hates it. I failed at my career, started fearing practicing, I just want to believe I am happy, but I am not. I hate hating. I have made good people cry. I have been a liar. I am not happy.
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Hey! Don't hate yourself... You're a really good person and if you wanna change something about you do it. Change the thing you hate about yourself and start loving yourself. And NO You're not worthless. Life is worth a shot. Live it happily! Best of Luck!!
ReplyThank you. Really, thanks for taking the time to reply. And thanks for your words.
ReplyHey you are not worthless trust me. Everyone has such moments in their life when they feel like a failure. I am going through it too but that doesnt mean you are worth nothing. Everyone makes wrong decisions. Thats what makes us human. No one is perfect.
Reply