I hate myself today

Today I hate myself. For everything I've done. because I feel I've done nothing good in my life. I went to college, graduated as an MD, have three (yes, 3) master's degrees in different areas. I speak more than five languages, write in at least 3, understand a native language and feel like I know shit. I feel I am a worthless piece of shit. I am tired. I regret being an unfaithful piece of shit. Have hade great women in my life. have broken hearts of good women. Women who loved me. I do not deserve the love of my life partner. Most likely I have disappointed my parents like forever. My daughter most likely hates me. I really would love to have the courage to get my g&n and finish this. But that would mean disappoint even more the ones that mean something to me. I have hated myself before. And when I don't feel I hate myself I am aware that I worth shit. I hate myself for my weak moments, for my bad decisions, for my fear, for being who I think I am and not for being who I should be. unluckily when I am who I want to be... people hates it. I failed at my career, started fearing practicing, I just want to believe I am happy, but I am not. I hate hating. I have made good people cry. I have been a liar. I am not happy.