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My gf (nb 25) and I (f 20) have been dating for over 2 years now. We met when I was 18 and still in high school. I had just turned 18 about 2 months prior to us meeting. Our bdays are coming up and I’m about to be 21. I know I’ll only be 3 years older that I was when we met but something about it is feeling weird. The older I’m getting, the more uncomfortable our meeting feels. I work with an 18 year old and I know it would technically be acceptable for me to date them but I can’t imagine actually dating someone that young. My brother is also about to be 18 and he’s a baby. Im just starting to realize just how young I was and it feels weird that a 23 year old was interested in that. Before covid hit, my best friend convinced me to be in a play with her and sometimes thinking about the fact that my gf was going to come to a high school play at 23 to see their gf gives me the ick lol. It’s just hard bc I love them and the age gap doesn’t feel as weird now. But like now that I’m getting closer to the age that they were when they met me I just ??? How could someone in their 20s look at a high schooler and be attracted to them. I wonder also if some of these weird feeling about our meeting also come from the fact that before me, my gf was dating a 17 year old at 22-23. My brother is 17 right now and if anyone in their 20s started to date him I would tear them a new one. He’s a child. The girl my gf dated was a child. Like yes technically the age of consent is 16 here but still that’s gross. When I learned about it I was still 18 and before my gf I had a 23 year old man talking with me (which disgusts me now) so it didn’t seem that weird. But now I’m getting older and it’s grossing me out. Like why would you be romantically/sexually attracted to a literal child. Yes a teen, but very much still a baby. I ask them sometimes if our age gap ever bothers them and they say no and ask me what I think. I’ve expressed that I thought it was weird a little bit but it feels like when I say that they start to get upset. I just don’t know who to talk to about this and I don’t know if I should talk to them like at all about this or if this is something I keep to myself. It’s just weird feeling.
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Yeah no I’m 21 and I could never date a teenager. My brother is 17 and he’s a baby to me. I’m a lesbian myself and unfortunately there’s a lot of giant age gaps like this in the community. I do think it is odd of the older person to be attracted to such young people
ReplyMiddle aged male here.
It's funny that, when you are in the lower grades in school, it seems to be a really big deal to have interactions with the kids who are just one grade above you. You don't announce to others, as a fourth grader, that you think you have a crush on a fifth grader. And, as a third grader, you would never pick a fight with a fourth grader because they are so much bigger and tougher than you are. Due to the registration process and the timeline of birthdays, it's entirely possible for these kids to be the same age. But, because of the grade difference, kids tend to make this a big deal.
I think, when you get older, the age gap fades away and is no longer an issue.
In the end, though, if you're feeling uncomfortable with the situation, you can certainly walk away from the relationship. If you're truly happy in the relationship, though, I wouldn't let the age gap bother you. I can assure you that other adults aren't looking at you as if you've lost your mind.
Whatever you decide to do, we're wishing you the best!
Good Luck!
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