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Sometimes it feels like am in space just floating endlessly, No thoughts nothing just blank. When I try to think I become depressed. I know am different, I know am special but it feels like I constantly need to be told like knowing is not enough.. I have been put down, looked down upon, disrespected and even counted out, through all that I just smile and act foolish because I know am in transit..a traveller finding where he belongs, so am not bothered treat me like shit and I will say thank you. humility mistaken for timidity but I smile still...am human all these pain need to go somewhere, so I smoke and watch my thoughts turn to fleeing vapour.am ok temporarily until am reminded thers no time...then I look around and it seems everyone moved on but me..I love my mum i'll die for her and It really hurts to watch her struggle and go through all this especially knowing all the sacrifice she made, it just feels like it might never pay off.the worse part is I am paralysed to help her I die inside thinking about it...yet I smile and smoke again...the pain is too much so yes I hide behind humour like I don't know what's happening but deep down I wonder if anything would ever change cos even when I move forward it seems like am still at the same spot. I can't understand things anymore especially myself...hoping someday all this would make sense coz it has to. in this cruel game of life, maybe I should just quit coz at the end it's still all vanity..none of all these really matters when am gone.
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ReplyThere is no need to quit. Just look at things in a positive way and appreciate all that you have.
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