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I’m biologically a woman, but i dont like being feminine, i hate being feminine, it makes me uncomfortable as it was always been portrayed to me as being weak, fragile, i dont want to be any of those things, delicate and stuff, masculinity was always portrayed to be strong someone who has power, thats what ive always wanted to be, thats why i hate woman stereotypes, i hate stereotypes in general, but i cant take it all out of my head. I was always comfortable when people mistake me as a man on the internet, it used to make me happy even, i liked being called “he” “him”, whatever, but i never got unconfortable with my body, i like woman body i think is prettier than mans body, and i like having it, i feel like im mentally a man but physically a woman. But it is all too complex for me bc my family is very religious i wouldnt be able to change my gender completely, like asking to be called he/him, they would never accept me, so because of that i had to repress myself and conform that ill never be a man, i dont think i would even feel like a man only being called by that, i would look at my body being a woman i wouldnt feel comfortable, but i dont think i would even do a physical transition bc of my family, and bc i would feel wrong, i would feel like im going to hell for doing that, bc my family always put that in my head.
When i started dating a guy, i loved him very much, i was afraid he wouldnt like me for not being feminine but he said he didnt mind, but as time passed, i started to feel more femine around him, and i acted instinctively feminine around him, and when i thought about what i did i got umconfortable, i felt desperate i felt like i was going against who i am, i was going to try to keep my posture but i couldnt stop acting like that, and as time passed i just accepted it, i started using make up for the first time, i started painting my nails for the first time, putting lipstick, using dresses, and i wasnt umconfortable it was like i just accepted it, but in the back of my mind i think sometimes that im not being myself that am not dressing like i really like or want to, its like i dont even know what i want to dress or be anymore, and theres still things that i get umconfortable doing when i think im being just like the woman stereotype, i start to hate myself for being like that for being born wrong and it hurts so much, if i was a man life would be much easier for me, not that being a man is easier i dont know, but it would be easier for me, bc i would feel like myself, i have not born as myself i am another person now i have to be another person now, ill never be able to be myself.
Does this all mean i am trans bc i dont feel like my gender, or am i demigender ou bigender, bc i feel like a woman physically? or all of this complexity is all bc i want to be powerful and have control bc of my defensive mechanism? pls some expert in gender tell me
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I am not some gender expert. Sorry to inform you that I am a cis-gendered female. However, I can tell you that you can be a woman without being the ultra-feminine stereotype. And that, yes, life would be easier for all of us if we were born men lol. But whatever gender you find out that you are, I don't think that you should stress about it too much. Gender is genuinely just another thing that society made up in order to fit all our very complex human minds into yet another box. Just be youtself, go with the flow, do what you love. Don't let other people sway you. And where ever that leads you, whatever pronouns or gender you use, accept it. People put way too much stress on all the different labels. Just be what makes you happy. ❤
ReplyUntil you speak to a doctor (multiple, actually, to be sure), I encourage you not to do anything medical to yourself. It’s irreversible and in you change your mind after the fact, you have to live with it.
I can’t say for sure because I don’t know you personally, but I don’t think you’re transgender. I think you just like the things that you like. Being a woman doesn’t mean you have to look like what is traditionally considered ‘feminine’. You don’t need long hair or dresses to be a woman. I’m a woman and I have neither of those. If that’s all it takes to be a woman, my name would have been Julian and I would have been on testosterone for years. Refusal to conform to ancient gender stereotypes does not a trans man make.
You can be powerful and be a woman. Most people have grown to accept this reality, and if they don’t, that’s their problem and not yours. The best advice I can give is… dress how you want to without worrying about what society thinks.
ReplyYour just a girl that doesn't feel like what she thinks lots of other girls are like. 😊 More normal than you realise. Girl or boy we all have different personalities. Don't label it too much, just experiment with how best you feel like you and let yourself be whoever you want to be everyday. You're strong whether you're a woman or man. Honestly I think your confusion just comes from the fact that you see women as weak and fragile and I'd guess that comes from your upbringing and people around you.
ReplyWhile nobody else can make the decision whether or not to identify as trans for you, I would advise you to focus on sorting out how you feel about femininity as a whole first because, from what you've said, it sounds like you basically don't like having stereotypes and misogyny instilled into you or held over your head. You don't have to be the 'woman stereotype' to be a woman, after all, in fact many aren't and they're still women. You said it yourself that you can't get the idea that masculinity is powerful outside your head- I think that's the issue here rather than gender. There's an instilled hatred of femininity that comes sometimes from being AFAB that you have to unlearn before considering gender because otherwise you can't be sure if your identity is based around insecurity / the desire for respect or power rather than it being who you actually are. It's alright! I'm trying to reconcile my view of masculinity and femininity too right now- you are not alone, and we all start somewhere. Besides, you don't have to know your gender now; ultimately it's just working towards a direction where you feel comfortable, rather than it being yearning for something society has said you aren't supposed to.
ReplyNo offense but you're a woman period. Embrace it. Be a tomboy perhaps if that makes you happy.
ReplyIf you were born female, then feel pride in it and live like a female. Don't thing female are weak. Women go through a lot of pain when in labor. Men can't even imagine that kind of pain. Women are given high respects in Islam. It's even advised in islam to obey Mothers three times more than Father.
So don't think women are weak.
Reply