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I am not saying that it is right to hold a grudge. But honestly, I am so tired of being told that I MUST forgive people who hurt me. I used to be the person saying that, but lately I'm thinking that is such a toxic sentiment. It encourages invalidation of your own emotions. I'm not saying to never forgive, or to hold a grudge forever. But how in the world do I forgive someone for the emotions they caused me to have, without ever working through the trauma? If your actions are still affecting my life to this day, how am I supposed to stop associating that trauma with the person who caused it? Stop telling people to mindlessly forgive. Stop telling people that they're doing it for themselves. Even if it's true. I agree, it feels better when you let it go, and you don't hate them anymore. But it's not as simple as just deciding to do so. There is no easy way around the pain. There is only the path through. You can't just skip it and pretend that all is forgiven. Trust me. I have tried. If I could, then I would.
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Trust me I know how you are feeling right now , I constantly deal with people who talk bull either about me or someone else. I very much would like to let the bad side of me take control and set them straight but I just laugh and smile nothing is more annoying to the people who hunt your reaction. Have faith in you don't let others disrupt your vibration
ReplyBecause it’s not for them, it’s for you.
ReplyI think you missed the point.
ReplyYou are correct. Forgiving is difficult, even for those of us who work on strengthening our faith. I think the key thing is to forgive, but with consequences. Actions have consequences, so there must always be consequences for those who wronged us. Otherwise, how is anyone supposed to learn from their mistakes.
Courtesy notice: the following includes a reference to a book that contains writings over 2000 years old which are mostly parables about human nature, both vile human nature as well as moral human nature, parables that are meant to teach us to learn and grow, including the teachings of Christ Jesus. No religion required, and better yet: no public displays of devotion required, although the former and latter are admirable if practiced freely out of one's own free will and without the threat of being beheaded. Some bullies will label this "trolling", so "change the channel" now if of no interest to you.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Mark 12:28-31
And Christ Jesus said the 2 greatest commandments are:
Love God first and foremost.
Love your fellow-being as you love yourself.
From following or not following these, all good or evil cascades, respectively.
Love...that powerful, invisible force that cannot be denied; even atheists live and die by it.
Reply