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Growing up, my father was always emotionally detached, and I never felt like I could depend on him, neither financially nor emotionally. I've never expected anything from him either. I often feel this way in relationships as well. I feel like at any moment that person could leave me, so I put up my walls and emotionally detach myself from them. I believe that no one can hurt me if I don't let them, and I also believe that the people who are the closest to me can hurt me the most. I also feel like people don't actually love or like or care about me. They pity me. All of this combined has caused me to never feel anything for the people I've dated. But it doesn't feel like something I can change. I physically, mentally, and emotionally can't let anyone in because they'll leave me at any moment, no matter how much I believe they love me. The only reason why I'm not heartbroken from people leaving me is because I wasn't truly emotionally invested in them. Because from my experience, people have left me after trying to make me believe that they like me. But sometimes I imagine being with someone who truly loves me, but in my mind that'll never happen. I'm only wasting my time dating when I know that once the honeymoon phase is over, they'll leave me.
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You being emotionally detached will also make people leave you so consider that while you may feel safe with your walls, keeping them up around people who are making a true and sustained effort to connect with you, will be disappointed and leave because they're not getting the connection that they crave.
People don't date someone they pity. They may feel empathy for your situation or sad for you, but not pity. I feel empathy for some circumstances of my partners childhood. But not pity. Yes, you will be hurt at some stage and yes the ones closest hurt the most but not having connections with others will also hurt you. It will chip away at you over the years until you realise how lonely you feel by keeping others away. I'm not saying connect with everyone and be open with all. But choose the ones who earn your trust and who share themselves with you (and not just with everyone). Build a wall of strength around your insecurity so when you get hurt, you're stronger at dealing with it. ❤️
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