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It’s happened a couple of times now. Some guy goes out with me, tells me all these sweet things, is genuinely compassionate and caring for a month, for a few years, and I start to let my defenses fall. I start to trust that maybe this time it’ll be different. They’ll either be trying to whisk me off my feet and it’s romantic, or they’ll be slow and sure and I think they’re just taking their time. Everyone’s different, I try to give grace. But it doesn’t seem to matter. Because then they tell me that they just aren’t sure- I deserve someone better- they’re afraid I’ll leave them- they like me but want to stay friends. And then they’ll get committed to someone else soon after. Usually the very next person. I’m beginning to think it is a “me” problem. Someone could tell me all these sweet words and treat me kindly and we will care for each other like partners, and I end up blindsided every time. I’m always surprised someone likes me and I’m equally surprised when I find out that they just didn’t like me enough. No one actually wants to call me theirs, and it makes me feel like they’re ashamed of me or that I’m doing something wrong. I do have excellent qualities to me, and I know and have been told I’m a great friend and a great partner. But I feel like the girl people get with right before they settle into the relationship they’ll get married with. It makes me sad. I feel unwanted
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Try not to blame yourself because this is happening to everyone. I haven't seen a true love commitment ever in my life. Humans are in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction which leads to broken relationships everywhere. I think the best thing is to become independent.
ReplyMarriages don't last nowadays so they are heading for trouble and divorce while you aren't.
ReplyDo you give to much without also asking for their commitment? Off the top of my head, that's what I'd assume. That you don't encourage them to commit. Do you feel like that might be a factor? ❤️
ReplyHonestly fair enough, I think I maybe give too much thought without asking commitment. I’m unlikely to give a lot outwardly, but it’s the buildup of hope and the loss of that is disappointing. I don’t encourage them to commit because I don’t like when I feel people are lukewarm about me, but now that you say it, it could be a problem
ReplyJust be aware. Trust and connection to me, is give and take and takes time to build it truely. But then I'm not perfect, none of us are. You should encourage commitment when you want that commitment, otherwise you're fooling yourself and you're just scared of loosing them or scaring them off. Think of it like this - You're worth the commitment and if they don't think you are then do you really want to be there? ❤️
ReplyP.s it takes a lot of courage to look into ourselves and some people go a lifetime without being able to so good on you for that ❤️
Reply