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relationship plateau .. is this meant to be ? (anxiety)
1 year ago · 3 · Relationship Issues, +10 · Explicit
258
Currently in my first relationship. It's been a little over two months now and.. I don't know.. It feels like we've hit a plateau. Our (my) first kiss was a rush. Cuddling for the first time was great. Now, it's kinda like... Okay... Next step??
For a little more context, we're 19 and queer (wlw relationship).
We've only really kissed, never made out, or whatever. Making a move feels so impossible, to me, and I think she might feel the same way. I have anxiety and I've never done this relationship/romance stuff before. She has mentioned like "we should make out teehee" but nothing has ever come of it. Sex also scares me. I can't really imagine us going down on each other...
I don't know if this is just an anxiety thing or maybe we're not right for each other. Maybe I'm not as attracted to her as I thought I was. She's undeniably gorgeous, but is there a sexual spark? I haven't known it. Any time I fantasize it's usually not about her. I think about celebrity men most of the time (not people I personally know) and sometimes celebrity women.
I had a dream last night that had me waking up thinking about this. I thought I should write on here to get these ideas out. I dreamt that one of my male celebrity crushes had dressed up all fancy for me and came to take me on a date; we got physically close and it felt like butterflies in my stomach. I remember briefly thinking "I have to break up with my girlfriend for this guy.." so.. yeah. The dream made me feel so good and lovey-dovey and idk if I really have that with my girlfriend.
We're going out for NYE and she, again, was like "we should make out" so... We'll see what happens I guess. If nothing happens, I feel like we should probably have a proper talk about it.
Man, I'm sad now. Writing that made me sad. There's a lot more that I have to say about this but I think I'll box it up for another time.
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Bit by bit ❤️. Look honestly it sorta sounds like there's no connection. It also sounds like you shouldn't label yourself as queer. We think we understand ourselves but we're really just walking through life trying to figure out what we really want. If you're 2 months in and feeling that way well that's not a great sign.
ReplyQueer is an umbrella term simply meaning not cisgender and heterosexual, and it is the correct label if the poster believes it to fit them.
ReplyLabels are rarely useful in my experience. Especially if you potentially haven't had enough experience to really know what you want etc. Queer to me means liking the same sex and if you're liking diff sexes, you're not queer. But again labels don't do anything positive here, they just box you into what you think you're supposed to like.
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