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Honestly, growing up I am seeing things I couldn't before. My family completely destroying my vibes. Being excited and happy about something, and them trying to make me go down to earth, made me go underground. Me trying to chat about something big that is making me feel overwhelmed, them being angry about my thoughts, stop the convo or say 2 words and nothing more. Always asking what I'm thinking, why am I anxious, silent, but never really like talking about what makes me feel that way. I need to leave and can't. I wanted earlier too. Now I feel like it's getting worse. Someday I feel so guilty about that. I'm a toxic human maybe. Trying to be toxic only to myself, till I completely remove that from me. Making HUGE effort. 10 years now. First years to hold in life. Then to exist. Then to make a routine out of the house. Then to add a little life to my existence. Now still trying to to live and not only exist. It's hard and as you realize it gets harder. Keep going. You got this. I admire you. I love you.
Your hurt self, still loves you ❤️
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