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I really hate writing these but it just keeps happening and this seems to be my only outlet. I love my friends, so SO much, and I know they care about me too, just not as much as everybody else I guess. I hangout with them everyday, everyschool break we have I'm there and we talk but I can't help but think they don't need me, and don't find me interesting. I don't have any issues with myself, I know I'm a good person, no body can ruin that for me. But I can't figure out why my friends always exclude me from everything. They have so many groupchats without me, even school ones, and it hurts, especially cause no one tries to hide it. And its not like I'm gonna ask to be added. That's just how I was raised, and honestly if they didn't add me I don't want the pity add because they feel they have to. I just feel like I ALWAYS see my friends hanging out in big groups together. And I don't get it. They are my closest friends, even my best friend is a part of that group, but somehow I'm never there. It really hurts my feeling everytime because I feel like I pour my whole heart into these people and I don't get the same in return. Every dance, or major school event (big sports, spirit events) I always see they get ready together. One of these get togethers had to of been like 15 girls at least, are you kidding me, you couldn't invite one more? It just sucks and hurts and I don't understand. My friends tell me they appreciate me and my care, they love me so much, well then where was I? I'm practically begging to hangout with them, and no one gives me the opportunity to show them that. I just feel so lonely sometimes despite being surrounded by people. The other day they all went on a cabin trip together, two families, and then three extra of our friends, I don't get it, even the girl they have issues with sometimes is there and I'm not. It honestly breaks my heart when this stuff happens, and I don't emotional very easy. What never makes anything easier is my best friend. I love her so much, more than imaginable, and I know she doesn't mean to hurt me. But everytime they do something she sends me pictures and videos and it just reminds me of what I'm missing. Or one time she vented to me about not being invited to a hangout despite being recovering sickness, you know what, I was completely healthy and yet no invite. I know my friends sound so shitty after all this, and maybe they are sometimes, but I still love them and wouldn;t trade them for anything. I just wish I could fix this and not feel like such crap all the time.
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At a lot of work places when there is an outing they do the 'one left out thing' where one person is deliberately left out and this could be what is happening to you even though this is occurring at school. I suggest that you make proper friends to hang out with. Even this best friend sounds like a nasty bitch. If she really is your best friend she would make sure you are included.
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