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I’ve heard it’s bad to trauma dump on your kids and treat them as your therapists. But what if the child is an adult?
I’m the child in this situation. It feels like whenever my mother talks to me, she’s always unloading her emotions on me, hour-long discussions about her past depression, the job she hated, people who she doesn’t like.
The first few times I engaged her and tried to unpack stuff with her, but now it feels like every conversation is like this. But I feel guilty for being annoyed by that coz I’m an adult now and should always be there for her like she was all my childhood.
But it’s not like, she had a bad day and she’s telling me. It’s like, everyday. From one topic to another to another. Sometimes it feels like I’m locked in, and I hate to admit it but it’s making me dislike talking to my mother. I haven’t told her directly that I don’t want the emotional baggage but I have said stuff like “when you talk, it goes on for too long” and that just turns into an argument.
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In this situation, I’d say it’s up to you to put a boundary in as to what you’re willing to listen to and for how long. Everyone has a different relationship with their parents, each situation is unique, only you can know if she is crossing your boundaries or not.
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