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My boyfriend got a tiktok and refused to let me follow it.
I never understood why. For months I asked to, he denied every time and I respected that.
A mutual friend found it. He let her follow, to which I was like well can i follow now too? He let me.
I wish I didn't.
It appears maybe he was trying to protect me from seeing the type of people he follows.
Because I believe him so easily, him saying "I dont follow people, so if i do they have to be funny"
funny.
All those girls are funny?
Small boob, skinny petite, big ass girls. Typical.
Just the body type that's so hyped right now that makes literally every other girl want to die.
You know, I thought that wouldn't bother me.
I really believed I wouldn't give a care in the world if that's what he decided to follow or watch. Who cares right?
Maybe it was the fact that he refused to let me follow him for so long because that's what he watches.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm fat and I look nothing like those girls.
And I'm here thinking not only did he want to keep this from me.
But they look nothing like me.
Why is he with me when I'm clearly not your type?
I told my friend about this, to which she said "sometimes people overlook their type for someone better"
But am i better? no
Funny that I'm saying all this because everyone thinks i'm such a confident person. This loud bubbly happy person.
This loud bubbly happy person is just a blanket to hide these insecurities.
I would do anything to look like those girls. To have people obsessed with me, and not me obsessed with them. I would love to be envied and wanted. Desired.
I would love for once in my life to be the ideal body type.
The solution is easy right? Just lose weight, work hard for it~ yeah.
But I guess im here wishing that I didn't have to do all that just to be attractive.
I wish people just loved.
They dont.
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I tested something with my cousin, and found out his instagram algorithm was *always* recommending him profiles linked to girls or posts where girls appear the most. Unavoidably, he was following few of those accounts for one or another thing that got his attention. Not for the girls specifically.
What I mean is, there's may be reason he follow them finding them cute/attractive but that doesn't make you less cute/attractive that those girls. A girl can say if a guy apart from their boyfriend is handsome or cute, a boy can say the same and it won't mean they don't love their partner dearly.
The reason he may be was avoidant for you to follow was may be he picked or notice you can be insecure around other girls and didn't wanted to make you feel less; he's with you and is still with you because he loves you.
Also, many of those girls are full on makeup and angle cameras/light do wonders (my sister is a photographer, she actually implements many of those angles and explain how that works to make you look different)
be more confident :)
ReplyGross. Don’t ever wish to be plastic. Be real.
ReplyUmm i feel like you are thinking too much into it ... now obviously i haven't seen the kind of content those girls make but if i were in your place i would've tried to give more thought to the content as in what kind of vedios those girls are putting so that your boyfriend
Is following them ... so
maybe you
should try thinking from this prospective and try disregarding their body types but if you still find that it is only about their body then that might be something you should have a conversation about with your boyfriend... but if the content is actually funny or interesting then I don't think there is anything for you to worry about ... on the top of it I'll say most of the people on tik tok try to fit in the trends and that also applies to body types so that might also be the case why those girls look different from you ... also when we have a certain insecurity we think more about it as compared to others, even there might be chances that the other person doesn't even give a single glance to that particular thing ... so no need to worry about it ... just try giving it a second thought and decide wisely
Reply