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This post, today, is one that has been weighing heavily on my shoulders for a long time.
God.
The churches say He is wonderful and amazing and kind and graceful, everything I need and cannot be. The churches say if I know about Him and choose not to believe in Him, I will go to hell, and I don't want that.
I sort of believe in Heaven and hell; a good place people go when they die and a bad place. But God? I don't think I can accept Him as real. I just find it hard to truly latch on to a belief like that. The thought of having someone more powerful than me just... controlling everything so I don't have to, and forgiving the bad things I have done.
I can't believe in Him, and yet I live in a Christian home.
What do I do?
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I agree with you. If there is some powerful being who is controlling and judging us (and punishing us for not believing), what's the point? What kind of being would create little playthings and punish them for not believing in him? So I reject that idea also.
I do believe that there is a force that unites the universe. But it is nothing like any god that is taught in religions.
In my case, I was allowed to choose my own beliefs, even though my parents are Christian. They never asked me what I believe and that was really nice of them. Maybe your parents are the same? Maybe if you keep it to yourself, without offending them or their beliefs, everything will be ok?
ReplyIt is not for anyone else, even parents to "allow" you to choose your beliefs. Your beliefs are independent from other people and not something they grant you.
ReplyFake it until you can make it. When you really start questioning and using logic instead of feeling, religion falls apart. ALL OF THEM. They do serve a purpose for some and that is a wonderful thing. It doesn't work if you force it on me or into our schools. Fuck you then. Good luck and I mean it.
ReplyPlease don't listen to people who aren't experienced in this.
Honestly, I have my proof, but I always believed before I did get it.
It all started with one night of me breaking down (Venting to God about my past mistakes, etc) along with several events that led up to it.
Basically, He answered me. And He is VERY forgiven and gentle.
Please don't be hard on yourself.
If I were to tell you the rest of the story, someone's gonna call it BS, so it's really up to you to find out for yourself. Because I grew up in a Christian household, went off into the world as I got older kinda lost, then God woke me back up when I reached 20 and my love and knowledge for Him grew since.
I'd never put this much effort/devotion into someone who "isn't real". Come on now.
All it is faith. You have to truly, in your entire heart and soul, WANT to know Him.
That you're not just "looking for proof". It takes more when you follow Jesus, but as you seek and pray, you will start to hear Him. Grow closer to Him.
It is more of a relationship/friendship, then a religion. It's close, between you and Him.
Never stop praying. You will be able to hear His voice more clearly.
Read into His Word (Bible), but don't read it in a human/worldly way of thinking.
Think Spiritually; Ask the Holy Spirit to help understand God's words.
As, you know, people REALLY misunderstand them and the context of the Bible.
Don't be like these people.
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND, you watch this YT Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbgW7Cztc6LDdf3bQPHtM2w
(Delafe Testimonies)
It has amazing experiences from people before and after they came to know Christ.
Even if you're skeptic, take in the wisdom. :) I wish you more than luck.
ReplyALSO**** NUMBER ONE: DON'T LISTEN TO OTHERS SAYING YOU MIGHT TO HELL OR THIS OR THAT. ONLY CHRIST KNOWS, AND WHEN YOU ACCEPT HIM, YOU ARE SAVED BY GRACE. MEANING, NOTHING AT ALL THAT YOU DID. NO GOOD WORKS. NO GOOD DEEDS. NOTHING OF THAT GOT YOU INTO HEAVEN. IT'S SIMPLY THE FACT THAT YOU PUT YOUR TRUST IN CHRIST. I highly want to make this clear!
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set you free from the law of sin and death."
YOU ARE SET FREE. We are told not to even fear or be anxious! Only trust in Him.
ReplyHe doesn't punish you for not believing in Him.
He does punish evil. If we choose evil, we choose to live our eternity without Him.
You must understand, He is still a Holy and righteous God.
When people tell Him, "why does God kill/delete/vaporize evil?"
Look at us as people. We lie, cheat, steal, kill... and these actions are led by the what's in our hearts. To give our heart to Christ, it means we are accepting what is good. What is righteous. We are also humbling ourselves, to allow Him to work through us. He knows our past, our traumas, everything and does not judge us for it. Instead, He calls for people like us. The "broken", the black sheeps, the outcasts. As He was once like that too, when he became human.
And to the "controlling" part, God does not interrupt your life.
He will not bash into everything you own and change it His way.
He knocks at the door and waits for you to open.
Each day you choose not to, then He won't force it.
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt Him.
You might not come across this, but to whoever does.
I can't talk about anyone this much.
Only with Him. I can't fake love. I can't fake any of this.
I hope you can feel my sincerity. Goodbye, all the love to you.
Reply