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I was talking to some friends today about a relationship I had. I (non-binary, junior in highschool) dated someone that I will call bird for the sake of anonymity. They (non-binary, senior in Highschool) dated for three months. It was my first real relationship. I had never even kissed someone before. Our first date we went on a picnic in the local park. I told them and they offered to kiss me. I didnt really know what to do so I panicked and said “sure”. The rest of the date was extremely physical. They took me into the wooded part of the park, kissing me behind every tree, not asking. Soon it stopped being just kissing. They would grab my hands and place them on their breasts, again not asking. They took me in their car, and for the first (and only) time asked to touch me. Again, not fully sure what to do, I agreed. Thankfully, I got a call to go home shortly after. Bird and I continued to date for several months, yet it seemed to be purely physical. They would come over to only touch and kiss me, wanted nudes often, and made plans to take my virginity. As it was my first relationship, I thought that was love. Once they told me they did love me, but texted later to “take it back”. They dumped me on the first day of school (we go to separate highschools) saying “they always knew we were temporary”. I take comfort in knowing they got denied from their dream school, the reason they said they wanted to break up (since long distance is hard) and will be going to community college in my city. Feels sort of karmic. Thankfully I am over my feelings for Bird, and am currently dating the most incredible girl. Anyway I told this story to my friends and they were extremely shocked. They said that the relationship sounded abusive, but Bird never hurt me? They never hit me or verbally assaulted me? I know it was unhealthy but was it really abusive? Please tell me what you think.
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I think it's abusive if he force you to make those things, did he? Or you just let him do what he wants, he didn't abuse you if he knows that you like it too.
ReplyThis isn't abusive because you consented to everything. Wait until you grow up and are looking for a life partner before having your next relationship. Then you will be more in control of what you are doing as well as having a better understanding of what a relationship is about.
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