unhappy with my bf

i’ve been dating my bf for around a year and i love him so much but i have become such a paranoid, sad, and jealous person. i never used to be like this in my past relationships, but i feel like he’s driven me to the point of insanity. we established in the beginning of the relationship that i do not like porn and consider it almost as bad as cheating. he agreed, and said he’d stop watching it (we had multiple reasons why we thought it was bad). well at some point months and months down the line, i got a gut feeling that he just wasn’t being truthful, so i snooped, as bad as that is. and he was in fact watching it, and had been whenever i left the house for a year. finding out he lied and manipulated me to believe him made me sick to my stomach, but apparently one confrontation filled with tears and apologies doesn’t mean anything. he kept doing it. but what’s worse is he stopped for a while, and then searched up porn the day after our anniversary. this was gutting enough as it is, but when i confronted him he said he did it to spite me because of what happened on our anniversary (which doesn’t make sense cuz he literally forget to buy me flowers and still hadn’t after a year and i cried because i just wanted him to remember them finally, after valentine’s day and my bday). apparently crying and telling him he hurt me by not putting in the effort to ever remember is too much for him and he felt the need to spite me by stepping over one of my biggest boundaries. not to mention i’ve always been paranoid of him seeking out other women because i caught him texting his best friend about how he wanted one of our friends (we were all in a room together) to have a threesome with us and telling him how hot and sexy she is. i mean that happened only a few months after we started dating so i honestly felt cheated on but i stayed. he also texted his ex about her dead dog after i told him he shouldn’t. he said he wouldn’t, and then the next day i woke up and saw a text from her, and he told me he ended up doing it because his mom made him feel bad???? please spare me cuz ik so many ppl will think these are huge red flags and i should break up with him but i can’t. he’s such a great guy, despite how i’m painting him to be since i can’t do into detail on all the good stuff, but i just don’t understand why i am not good enough for him. oh forgot about this but for a very long time he also followed like over 100 sorority girls from my college, not his, all posting bikini pics and sexy stuff that he had liked a fuck ton of previously. and waited forever basically until i called him out to finally unfollow them. and i’ve talked about it with him so many times but there are still a few accounts he follows that i want him to unfollow. he’s never taken the time and thought to do it himself for my sake, so now i have to live with the knowledge that before me he seemed to only be interested in skinny white blonde girls with blue eyes (im a brown girl who’s chubby). i just wish he would’ve done the things other guys do in relationships because now i know things i shouldn’t and it’s ruining me. he likes to go on tiktok and look at milf trends or just girls with big tits and asses dancing, yet he SWEARS he thinks i’m the most attractive and the only one he wants and that he doesn’t desire any of that stuff. and yet here we are, a year later, and all i can think about is every single moment he lost my trust. he has hidden so many of his lustful actions from me, which makes me believe he would someday cheat on me if the opportunity arose. i told him this, and ever since he’s been kinda upset and trying really hard to prove to me that i can trust him, but i just can’t, not yet. at this point we’ve had so many heart to hearts about these topics that he just disregarded that i feel completely hopeless. will my bf ever stop looking at other women? the internet seems to think that this is something i just have to get used to, and that honestly makes me want to break up with him and date a woman because i am so so scared that things will never change, and i’ll become just another story of a woman who dated a shitty man and ended up wasting years of my life to get cheated on or left for someone better.