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My Unsent Letter (Slowly draining the poison love, But the same time losing the true love.)
1 year ago · 0 · Venting, +8
242
Accepting defeat, accepting the harsh truth of reality and the possibility died alone or becoming like one of them in the dark side of reality. I am at a crossroads point in life. So far, at this point, I am doing okay in life. But, I don't know if being single for a long time or if a suitable partner has accepted my true love has did not show up in crossing life paths. I lost hope or lost interest in finding love. I am slowly having dark thoughts and unhealthy intentions against the world.
However, I can not do it because of her. Although it only happen 10 years ago. I think about her from time to time. But, due to her conversational line work. I can accept her as a girlfriend or wife. She was the only one that didn't give me poison love. Unlike, my exes, and past dates. She helps me to be a better person and she didn't give me cold judgmental looks. She took care of me emotionally and physically in times of need. I hope there is another person with a similar personality without a conversational career. Because of her, I decided to find someone in a different region or beyond my comfort zone.
But, due to unexcepted events from 2019- 2022. It is out my of reach. The biggest mistake was going back to my roots or finding a suitable partner within my local area. All my former crushes, classmates, former co-workers, friends, and neighbors. I received nothing but negative reactions, rejection, and being told that I am worthless, and the ones who rejected me came back to me with problems and/or children from A**hole fathers or deadbeats and excepting me to pick up their mistakes and fix their problems.
Now. I am trying my best improved and better myself without her, It is hard to do it by myself. As I am slowly letting go of my past and mistake. (Poison love) But, my past and mistake are a grim reminder that my true love slowly is eating away in the process. To be honest, I am scared or just don't care if I decided to bring chaos to the modern world. This is not my first time doing this. Because I signed a contract with (*****) during as my young years with a heartbroken past and being cheated on and rejected. As I get older, my opinions are smaller and smaller, and same time I can not stay young forever.
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