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Today was a mixed day. I felt very alone and depressed for most of the day, and didn't get a lot done at work. Then I god home and started on something with the car.
I had planned to do it tomorrow morning but I started after dinner hoping to get a start before it got dark. I ended up finishing the job just as it was getting too dark to see, which was a great accomplishment in my book. I was worried I had bitten off more than I could chew, and instead I got it done with no major issues without problems. I just need to get some replacement clips to replace the ones that were too brittle to be removed and re-instered, or had failed in previous attempts.
The coldness and aloneness at work is a different matter. I really didn't feel good - I really felt like I needed a hug. I was lonely, thinking about my wife (who I am separated from). I am not hopeful that we will be reconciled, even though it is what I most deeply want.
What will be will be. We haven't really started counseling - having only had one session about a month ago, but we will start having more in a week. I can hope, but I am scared I will have those hopes dashed, and have lived on edge the whole time wondering if it will pay off. But if I have the change to have a fulfilling relationship with the love of my life again, it will be worth it.
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Intrusive thoughts
Depression Low self esteem And they take advantage of this Of making me doing wrong things And I was lost in time The ones I didn’t want try to reach out...
The possibility exists. Love yourself. If you do, she will notice.
ReplyTake the time to grow. Learn more about yourself and what you did wrong. Marriage is a two way thing into forming a 1 bond. In the end, it is about both of you. However, if one party feels differently, it will never work. No matter what you do.
So focus on what you did to contribute to the issues. Accept what has happen, the loss of the past. Can there be a future where both of you are happy?! Can you both accept the past issues and move on?! you both have to work on it. Try to avoid distracters (drugs, other responsibilities) focus on what cause the issues and see if there can be a fix. Loneliness can be your best friend as a problem solver. wishing you both the best. There is a greater future ahead. but comes with a lot of work
ReplyTry reading the book The Deven Principles for Making Marriage Work from John M. Gottman. I applied it during a big relationship problem and it was fantastic for me. I realised that my relationship was already lost and that I had to move on. Hope it doesnt go that way with you but it has incredible tips for you analysing what is going on.
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