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For many years, I thought I was just unlucky with love. I felt that people don’t want me or want to love me for other reasons. But the truth is, I can’t handle relations. Lately, I have connected with a girl; she is lovely. I love her carefree attitude, her humor, how she talks, and many more things. I genuinely love her. Though it all seems right, I still feel she is not interested in me, or she is just like that. She has talked multiple times about getting married to me, never shied from being associated with me in front of our friends, and even talks about me to her friends. But I don’t know what she actually feels. She doesn’t text much; according to her, she is not a phone person but is very active on Instagram and Snapchat. She has never said anything about our relationship or that she loves me. All of this confusion is making me anxious. I have a terrible tendency to be impulsive when anxious. I lose my temper quickly and start overthinking, which triggers my chronic depression and insecurities (such as my finances, career, looks, etc.). I love her, but I have realized that I can’t handle relations. I have never been a good son, brother, or friend to anyone, and one of the worst boyfriends ever. But for this girl, I am trying my level best. I try to help her, care for her, and give her my full attention and everything, but I am still missing out on a few things. I am perplexed by my current situation and desperately need friendly advice.
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HELP
I feel so drained lately, before I sleep I can't stop myself from crying nonstop. I can't sleep, I just cry and cry. I really want this to stop, the worst part...
I was that girl, who wasnt a texter, but often was on social media. That was because I was bad at holding conversation over the phone. Its hard when you cant actually talk to someone, especially if there a close friend right now, you want them to actually see and hear you. If its someone your close too, start slow, invite her to do something or try something new. Its okay to overthink it, but don't let it effect your decisions, make sure she can understand what you want and your feelings, just as you'd do the same. Try your best.
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