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1 year ago · · mom,
I'm struggling with my life, not only physically but also mentally. This year my life existed of trips to the hospital, a lot of medicine and a lot of pain. I wasn't able to be me. To go out with my friends, to go to college, go shopping, to just, go. All I feel is pain. But this pain is not only phisically anymore. Lately it made me feel so sad. Sad that I can't be who I was anymore. Can't do the things I love anymore. I need to take care of my health now, and who knows how long it will take to feel better. I only dissappoint my friends for not being able to hang out with them. I only cause my parents pain because I bring them issues, health issues. All they ever wanted was a healthy happy child. The healthy I can't pretend, but I have to at least pretend that I am happy, for them.
I see her struggling. Struggling with her health. We have driven her to the hospital so many times. They keep changing her meds, but nothing works. She is in so much pain. She was not able to go to college and spend much time with her friends. She stayed at home with us. We tried giving her everything she wanted and needed, but I scould see her struggling because she wasn't able to enjoy her life anymore. All I want her to be is happy, not in pain anymore. If I could, I would have taken her pain in a second. I wish I could. It hurts, seeing her suffer. She seems happy, she pretends to be happy, but I know she is not. I try to make her happy, I would do anything to make her smile. There is nothing she can do about it. Nothing I can do to help her, that is what hurts me the most. For now, all I can do is be strong, for her. -Her Mom <3