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Sometimes i feel like the sun will set and feel like a flower that will wither before it gets to bloom. I feel like a person that is one step behind others.
Sometimes i feel like no one will ever understand the pain i've been through. I've read about people that have been through much harder things than I have, however even the most happy or depressed people will never understand. for a long time i've been a sponge soaking up every peoples pain, waiting for a sink to wring out my pain.
people have told me that its a good thing not to show my emotions, however even the same person says people who express their feelings will be stronger. that's exactly what I have decided to do. No matter all the hate, i want to say what I feel.
I feel like I have been burdening people ever since I was born. sometimes I thought I should stop burdening people with my presence and just leave. I have been using pen as a knife and skin as paper. I have smiled when I felt like breaking down. I have gotten told I cry too frequently and for meaningless reasons. How can I say the reason if they are the ones that have put scars on me emotionally and mentally.
When I was 10 I took 2 depression tests both coming out severe. I just moved on thinking it had come out wrong. But now, I still see myself struggling. Maybe the test was right. I hope one day I will rise again and bloom again. I hope for that day to come.
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ive never related so much to something so well said than this. I also have to put on a smile, thinking that everything is okay. But, when I really think about it, I am not okay. I think it may be the stress that comes from school or from work, I don't know, but there is an underlining feeling that just won't leave. Maybe I am just sad. Some days, I just don't feel like doing anything, then just indulge myself into some useless entertainment. Thinking that could give me a little break from reality. But there's a feeling that comes rushing back in that just takes over my emotions and makes me like i am powerless. Sorry for going on my own tangent. I just want you to know that you aren't alone in this. Everything happens for a reason.
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