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Another evening of a mother of three, and I'm scrambling around with the last two lights on in the house to get the last minute things done... Is the humifider filled and on? Why is someone calling "Mommy" for the umpteenth time? Did I find all the blocks so I don't step on them in the middle of the night? Is the front door locked? Please, toddler, stop screaming.
And then, like I don't exist, the house was dark and it was just me and the sound of aforementioned toddler still awake. My eyes aren't adjusted, but I feel my way to his crib and tuck him in again. I fumble for my nightgown...which is missing. Husband tossed it off the bed as he laid down and I can't find it. Where is the nightlight? Who unplugged it? I have to turn on a light to fix this- the toddler is screaming again. I haven't brushed my teeth or done any of my once a day, for five minutes, self care yet. Another kid is calling down the hall. My husband asks what am I doing as I give up on finding my night clothes, he's totally tucked in. Mom guilt is tearing away at me that two kids are demanding my attention, my feelings as a wife are falling apart who isn't being helped, and my self importance is crawling in a hole to curl up and die. My night routine is not new, why did I get left in the lurch?
Hell, dinner was a nightmare tonight as well. No one was on the same page and I couldn't even get a "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
I went to the bathroom and cried when I was done checking kids and picking up more toys. I came back to bed and put headphones in. I don't even want to face tomorrow. And God, I need my own shower for once...
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