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So I’m 18, and I met this 19 yo guy at my college campus during the first week (early august) it’s now early March . We hung out for a while and went on a couple of dates. He initiated the first date, but all the other ones I’ve had to ask him out on because he’s only asked me out to his dorm. He told me one night he was highly attracted to me, I myself kinda like him. But, about a month or two ago our friendship/situationship fell off. He’s attracted to my body but not much my personality and is one of those immature college guys (it seemed to me that way) who want to get laid. He told me he wanted to loose his vCard to me and has never done sexual things before, but I want to wait until marriage for personal reasons. I would have wanted a relationship with him but he appeared to want sexual stuff I am not ready for, i fell for his personality while he fell for my looks more. So that was it we didn’t go out anymore or such but kept in contact. I was planning on letting him go and loose contact with him because he’s not what I’m looking for right now, plus I had cried over him two times so far because I was disappointed. One of them was for Valentine’s Day, prior to that he told me he was falling for me and loved me yet didn’t ask me out or get me anything. this made me upset because I’m from a different culture where men will buy you a bouquet of roses even if they just met you that day. However, now he told me he recently discovered he has cancer and it has taken a toll on his mental health. I came over once to comfort him and he told me all about it, he had cancer and even cried in front of me a little. I feel bad now because I’m in a weird situation I like him but at the same time I don’t think we are suitable for each other. My want and needs don’t relate to what he has offered so far. With the cancer situation too, I truly feel bad but it has made him more closed off and not ready for a relationship. At the same time I’m also conflicted because I believe when we met was a big coincidence like I was at the right place at the right time and everything that occurred that day led me to meet him. It’s also one of those events where you know it’s more influential/important.
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See You meeting that person is a mere coincidence . Don't want to be rude , but you are still young and you are thinking too much . I am so sorry to hear about his cancer . You like him , that's nice but at the same time doing sometimes that you are not comfortable with is not a good thing for you as well. Think before taking amy step in your life . And no matter whatever step you take , just think about one thing . Is it something I am going to regret in the future ? .... And you can still be with him and support him as a frnd. You yourself know that he is not the person you want to spend rest of your life with . So take care of him but at the same time think before evey step you take towards him .That's all I have to say . I will pray that he'll get better soon ....
ReplyHe’s definitely a bad match for you as a romantic partner, but maybe you can downshift to being close friends? Maybe if you slam the door on intimacy, he’ll shift to something of more substance. Even the most girl-crazy college boy can appreciate a platonic friend sometimes. Just be careful that he’s not playing the wounded duck to ensnare you. Cancer or not, boys will be boys. (I say this as a boy lol)
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