What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
Things that I can't talk to anyone I'm close with because I'm not comfortable on doing so and they might take it the wrong way
1 year ago · 3 · Stress, +4
338
Disclaimer: English is my third language so pardon me if the stuff that I will enter here are incomprehensible or might have grammatical errors.
Let me start about my situation, so I used to be a completely normal but things suddenly went downhill when problems started to pile up. Like I could not even talk about it to my parents since most of the time they won't even listen to me. When I entered college I was force to take a route that I don't have an interest in but then since I do not want to disappoint my parents I still took the path that they created for me. In the end it took a toll on both my physical and mental health since the course that I took was too tiring and I do not even have any passion for it. So then I started to get sick and later on I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. Things were very difficult for me, cause after that experience another problem occurred because my parents decided to disown me over a very simple thing. They cut me off because I decided to have my ears pierced, I was so stressed that time and I started to look for a way that I can earn money even though it's very hard for a student to land a job where I live. In that moment of my life I realized that i am really alone, like I could not even depend on my family. Then a month went by and they decided to take me back so at this point I am not disowned anymore. Also they let me choose a path that I want but at this time I am already drain and exhausted that my mental health gave out. And this is where it started that I could not have a normal life anymore since I could not even go out of the house cause I would start to get panic attacks and anxiety attacks, I would be so depressed every single day and would cry every night and it did not stopped there since I started to hurt myself too. Now, the thing that is keeping me strong are my medications my meds are the only thing that keeps me happy now.
Right now I am doing better but it did not last long since another tragedy has happened. The dog that I gave to my grandma died a week ago. It broke my heart to hear this news because the last time I went to there house our dog was totally fine but it was really a shocker to find out that she passed away. The thought of our dog who passed away saddens me but knowing that my grandma cried the whole time hurts me more. You see our dog was my grandmas source of joy, I gave the dog to her so that she will have a companion since her cat went missing and my uncle always leave my grandma alone at home because he has to go to work. Our dog would always follow my grandma around, she would guard my grandma and sleep with her. Our dog is very loyal to my grandma she even waits outside the bathroom door when grandma is taking a bath or would be under her chair is she's lounging around. Our dog loves my grandma and our dog loves her back. So when it died my grandma was devastated and I think she is still in shock of what happened because my grandma still calls for our dog like she is looking for her even though our dog was already gone.
All these things left me feeling overwhelmed and because of this I needed someone to confide to. I messaged someone who thought might care but I was left with disappointment of how he just ignored me. I tried to message him again and he responded I tried to hint him that I need help but it seems that he was just brushing it off and he really acts like he does not care. I even said my dog died, I was expecting him to say sorry for your lost or just anything but like he just acts like it's not serious and I am just joking. Like he is so cold if just would not care he shouldn't have made friends with me or just block me cause like ignoring me and leaving me on read all the time feels so much worse than losing someone I considered as a friend. But at this point i think that I need to just get real and just distance myself from him since he's making it obvious that I am not even his friend from the start. Furthermore, I am writing on this site right now because I really don't have anyone to talk to and I am hoping that through sharing my story it will take away and ease the pain that I am suffering. And I am hoping that someone will give me an advice or a sign to keep on going.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
idk what I'm feeling
I keep lying to myself about how i feel to the point that idk what I'm feeling anymore, idk what i truly feel. yesterday i saw him, it made me feel really uneas...
-
i feel like i’ll be alone forever
my boyfriend is extroverted and i’m extremely introverted. i explained to him that i don’t feel comfortable hanging out with him in groups, but he doesn’t...
Hii there,
Well i think we r on the same boat because my parents wont gave me a choice to let me do what i want to but ur case is sever. same happend with me when i tried talking my closest one, my friend he was also like don't talk to this all about me , be strong , find ur own way and what not.
i don't my self capable enough to give u a very strong advise which will help u but i trust on u completely that one day u r gonna a make ur self proud.Involve ur self in ur intrest , explore new things , new genre, get completely involve in it, this will surely help u.
Sending u a warm hug from here.
LOVE>>>
Replywell i just commented this and what the hell my memory is is forgot my password. lol
ReplyHaven't you noticed that most thoughts about your past or a possible future event or situation just show up unannounced? Many of these thoughts are unwanted but some are helpful. The main thing that these unannounced thoughts have in common is that they require the energy that you provide to persist. This energy comes from your attention, initially, and when you add labels, opinions, a dramatic story, and / or an emotional reaction, the thought is super-charged with staying power.
Unwanted thoughts can't be prevented or pushed away. Any effort to do these things will energize the thought. Have you ever had a thought that arrived and was soon replaced by a completely different kind of thought without you hardly noticing? This happened because the original thought got nothing from you - no reaction, no label, no opinion, nothing.
You are not your thoughts. Their arrival does not make them automatically meaningful. You do that when you energize them. You have this wonderful and sometimes complicated thinking instrument (your brain) that needs to be managed.
All of us have stuff we have to do right now (cooking, driving, cleaning, eating, studying, talking, or planning) and thinking while handling these obligations is essential. In fact, it is wise to think only about the task at hand for quality and safety reasons. Thinking about the past or future while doing what we must, should be avoided. When the time and circumstances allow, thinking about the past or possible future is OK and can be very helpful.
However, unwanted thoughts will still show up and when they do, allow them to stay without you energizing them in any way until they are replaced with another, perhaps, unwanted thought. If this happens, repeat the 'no reaction' response. When a wanted, acceptable, or helpful thought arrives pay attention, use your imagination, add a dramatic story, get excited, and even allow it to direct you to take supporting actions.
So, to summarize, do what you must and pay attention to that, allow (DON'T RESIST) unwanted thoughts, and energize helpful thoughts. Don't forget to have fun and laugh a lot. Small progress is normal. Major progress is an unreasonable expectation. Give it time. You are smart and will be just fine.
Reply