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ever since he killed himself i felt so empty without him he was like a brother to me and one day i wake up to a text from him saying he couldnt do it anymore and saying how happy he was to be there for me when nobody else was. he would always throw hints at me and i took them seriously because i knew what he was going through. i would help him non stop but it has finally came to that point where he just couldnt do it anymore. he left me alone with nobody but i dont blame him at all. he was going through something and i tried my best to help him go through it together. i would stick by his side all the time and ever since he was with me and became my friend. he would always be such a happy person around me and never acted and never said his feelings out loud and just threw in hints but i knew every single thing that was going on with him. I would still continue to help him if he was still here and i would always text him and tell him i love him. he would always be so happy around me but never really liked anybody else. nobody else cared for him as much as i did. nobody will ever top how much i cared for that man. he was still so young and never lived his life to the fullest. its crazy how deep little kids feelings are and how their mind works and drives them to insane things. i wouldnt be where i am today without him and im forever grateful to of had him in my life. i still text him like hes here. i update him on my life but im just waiting for the day he responds to me. ill be up there with you soon but not soon enough. I have work to do. I love you ethan.
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