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i really need to know what’s wrong with me. i just feel bouts of sadness at the thought of socializing with other people. but i feel guilty when i don’t want to socialize with people. i mostly feel guilty when people don’t understand and i can’t explain why i feel the way i do. it makes me want to isolate myself from everyone completely. i either feel so guilty or so sad all the time. i just want to put myself first, and i think the only way i can be content is if i shut the world out. please tell me what’s wrong with me.
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Nothing is wrong with you. If you don't want to socialize with other people, that's okay, no one should judge you: we all need some alone time, whatever the reason. Maybe you feel guilty precisely because someone is pushing you to become a social person when you're not: that's bound to make you want to isolate yourself even more, which would be the real issue, because that's where your distress seems to stem from. Maybe you just need to find the right people to mingle with, whom should respect you and your choices. In case of doubt, ask yourself: do I really want to isolate myself for awhile, or do I feel the need to get away from these people that don't understand me? If you come to the conclusion that you'd want to shut the world out regardless of the circumstances, and for the foreseeable future, maybe you should check for underlying causes, but, if I were you, I wouldn't worry for the time being: it is perfectly normal to feel guilt and sadness when other people are dismissing your needs and make you feel as though you owe it to them to fulfill their expectations...
Replythere's absolutely nothing wrong with you. this just makes you more understanding of yourself and more valuing your own needs before others, and that is something we should all do imo. i get the feeling guilty part tho, as i do feel guilty a lot too. but i always remind myself that it's better to be alone than to be surrounded by people who drain you or don't make you feel comfortable. i totally relate to this as i do isolate myself from people a lot and then feel guilty for doing so afterwards, but i still can't help but continue isolating myself because it just makes me the most comfortable, since when i socialize with people, nine times out of ten i feel even worse afterwards, it's just not worth it to me anymore. i just want to let you know that you're not alone and that there's nothing wrong with you, you're a great person for recognizing this and trying to get advice in the first place, but trust me this just means that we're selective of who to socialize with, too selective if you will. it's still not a bad thing at all. i hope that somehow helped.
ReplyNothing. But you think that there is and your life is about these inaccurate thoughts. I'm going to copy and paste a post I made weeks ago. You will need to read it a few times for it to help you.
ABOUT THOUGHTS
Haven't you noticed that most thoughts about your past or a possible future event or situation just show up unannounced? Some of these thoughts are unwanted and some are helpful. The one thing they have in common is that they require the energy that you provide to persist. This energy comes from your attention, initially, and when you add labels, opinions, a dramatic story, and / or an emotional reaction, the thought is super-charged with staying power.
Any attempt to avoid or push away an unwanted thought will give it energy. Have you ever had a thought that arrived and was soon replaced by a different (unrelated) thought without you hardly noticing? This happened because the first thought got no mental commentary, no emotional reaction - it got absolutely nothing.
You are not your thoughts. Their arrival does not make them meaningful. You do that when you energize them. You are the one who can and should decide which thoughts are worthy of further considerations. You have this wonderful and sometimes complicated thinking instrument (your brain) that can and should be managed.
All of us have daily responsibilities like cooking, eating, cleaning, studying, driving, working, talking to others, etc. or preparing now to do these things later. Thinking while handling these obligations is essential and our full attention supports reasonably good result. When the time and circumstances allow, thinking about the past or future can be helpful if it’s not a past regret and a possible future we fear.
So, do what you must and then think about and / or do what you prefer. An unwanted thought will still show up. When it does, don’t resist or react in any way. Simply allow it to stay until it is replaced with another, perhaps, unwanted thought. If this happens, repeat the ‘no reaction’ response. When a wanted, acceptable, or helpful thought arrives pay attention, use your imagination, add a dramatic story, get excited, and even do something supporting.
The opportunity to begin this practice will show up soon. Be grateful when it does. It may feel awkward but stick with it until it becomes an appreciated habit.
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