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I think ever since I moved at a different location 3-4 years ago, faced some bullying of verbal kinds, I was just traumatized. I have tried my best to be the "nice guy" my whole life, and I just don't end up anywhere. I tried talking with people but eventually I gave up because things weren't working my way. Rejection from a lot of people took a toll on me and I just kind of want to be a "mean guy". My thought is that maybe if I change my personality then, others will notice that and I will actually have attention from others. Maybe others will actually care for my existence. I don't know. I kind of was thinking for years of getting revenge on others, but I know it isn't the right thing to do. But my hatred for this world and for others has grown to a point where I just can't take it anymore. I don't want to die, or I don't want to kill anyone, it's not to that point. But I just want to make others feel how I felt for the past couple of years. It's hard for me as I'm still forming an identity and that is the point of life I am in right now. I still haven't found that while I feel like others have.
Is being nice the way, or being mean the way?
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Making people feel how you feel who are innocent is not the way to go, with that being said I can totally relate to you, it seems like the whole world is full of people who use you for what they want and move on. I’ve been dealing with this my whole life and mean or nice, I get the same reactions from people. It can feel very lonely. I suggest therapy it can definitely help. Just remember you are a person and you deserve respect and kindness and if you can’t get it from anyone else practice giving it to yourself. A little selfishness can go a long way. Don’t give up on yourself and don’t let the hollow people of the world influence who you were meant to be.
ReplyI understand where you are coming from. Being able to get retribution for bad things that happen to us quite honestly feels good in the moment. That being said there is a reason why Wrath is one of the seven deadly sins. It's easy to get swallowed up by rage and revenge. You get consumed with getting back at others that it creates a cycle of retaliation. When there are no enemies left, you create new enemies from the smallest slights and minor transgressions. In the end it doesn't give you any closure. You never get past the helpless feeling of being a victim.
Should you be nice or mean? I would say neither. Niceness indicates that you behave so that you don't upset others. It's fake and it's approval seeking behavior. Meanness just fuels the anger so that won't do you any good either. Focus on putting your needs first. Treat yourself kindly and with compassion and soon enough you'll get your internal well-being in order. Eventually you'll be able to attract quality people in your life.
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