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My therapist is bad. My meds do not help my social phobia (works wonders on my depression tho). I wish it could just stop. Just go in the room, nobody is going to think that you are walking so weirdly that they feel the need to start a mass rumor that you are secretly idk a zombie and people would not just hate on you massively, you won't end up all alone just because you walked weird into a room one time. At this rate you will end up all alone because you are so afraid of irrelevant titbits of judgements from strangers on the street who will never see you again, and since you are afraid of what a random stranger might say how can you make friends? What if they are just using you and once their horrible mission is done they would just kick to the curb and let you rot. I have friends but still I am afraid of judgement, less than some random person but it's still weights down my conscience like a ton on a single ant. Not all judgment is bad, someone could be judging in a good way, someone can be all like "goddamn that person has a lovely sense of fashion" and that is judgement but NO. Think of the negative. Think about all the things that could go wrong to the point that you physically start to twitch out and possibly hallucinate. "social anxiety doesn't ruin your life, it stops you from living it" is so true. How many times I have missed out on an amazing opportunity just because my brain was all "jshekdjdbrndidh evillll judgment"? I would never know. I miss my old friends. The one I lost because of moving, covid, or when I just was too afraid to reach out to them and I simply decided that I don't need them. I really miss them. I know that if someone does not want to get better they probably won't, but I want to. So badly. I would literally tear the flesh out of myself just to have one normal fucking day. A minute even, just bliss from all the noise and emotions raging through my body like a black hole tearing through space. One day. That's all I ask. I do try my best, oh how I do but unfortunately I used so much negative reinforcement for it (avoiding situations that cause fear) over all the years that it's just infused in my very nature. Please someone tell me what do that is more specific than just "step outside your comfort ant zone or talk to a therapist" like fellow suffers what seems to help you? Oleasssseeeeeeeeeee I would sell my soul to satannn.
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ReplyConsider this;
Haven't you noticed that most thoughts about your past or a possible future event or situation just show up unannounced? Some of these thoughts are unwanted and some are helpful. The one thing they have in common is that they require the energy that you provide to persist. This energy comes from your attention, initially, and when you add labels, opinions, a dramatic story, and / or an emotional reaction, the thought is super-charged with staying power.
Any attempt to avoid or push away an unwanted thought will give it energy. Have you ever had a thought that arrived and was soon replaced by a different (unrelated) thought without you hardly noticing? This happened because the first thought got no mental commentary, no emotional reaction - it got absolutely nothing.
You are not your thoughts. Their arrival does not make them meaningful. You do that when you energize them. You are the one who can and should decide which thoughts are worthy of further considerations. You have this wonderful and often complicated thinking instrument (your brain) that can and should be managed.
All of us have daily responsibilities like cooking, eating, cleaning, studying, driving, working, talking to others, etc. or preparing now to do these things later. Thinking while handling these obligations is essential and our full attention supports reasonably good result. When the time and circumstances allow, thinking about the past or future can be helpful if it’s not a past regret and a possible future we fear.
So, do what you must and then think about and / or do what you prefer. An unwanted thought will still show up. When it does, don’t resist or react in any way. Simply allow it to stay until it is replaced with another, perhaps, unwanted thought. If this happens, repeat the ‘no reaction’ response. When a wanted, acceptable, or helpful thought arrives pay attention, use your imagination, add a dramatic story, get excited, and even do something supporting.
The opportunity to begin this practice will show up soon. Be grateful when it does. It may feel awkward but stick with it until it becomes a helpful habit.
Replyi don't know whether you'll see this or try it... but you can, maybe, do one thing. whenever you feel overwhelmed or someting like that... put your hand on your heart... and say that you are here.. you will make yourself happy... you will take care of yourself... you will love yourself... you are not alone my heart... it might not work always but you can give it a try... also you might not need your friends now... but they might need you... try to reconnect with them... you are not alone
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