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your beautiful and i know i wont ever be able to tell you this in your face with my words or with my words or in away way with you knowing its me. i love you so much but you probably dont even know or acknowledge my existence. i love you and would do anything to just talk to you as a friend or a support buddy or just a quick little talk. i admire you and your presence. i may not be the beauty standards or be your type and this may sound obsessive but i just wanna have a word with you. your handsome and beautiful and your adorable seeing you makes me feel butterflies in my stomach, i come to school at 7:30 eager to see your baggy pants and those nike shoes and that one green hoodie or your black zipup or your purple hoodie. i come eager just to hear you talk to your friends about the most random stuff but i cant even remember what you say because im just focused on how you sound and your laughter. i adore you so much. i may be young and stupid but the amount of love i have for you isn’t. its like seeing 70 year old man and woman holding hand in hand admiring the sunset while watching your grandkids play in the grass but i am still young and stupid and im probably just describing this dramatically. i really love you and i don’t need your love back i just wanna tell you how you make me feel. i ignore all my family problems and my mom and dad fighting all day because you are such a blessing. this may be a little corny but i dont care nobody has ever made me feel this lifted and joyful ever. you are not afraid to be yourself and thats adorable and amazing. i love your earrings, i love your lips, i love your hair. yet will i ever get some love from you? i may be chubby, my nose is a little too big, heart too emotional, i may not be your type. i just want you to know i love you. i get up and deal with my depression just to enter that stupid history class to sit down next to you. i enter third period holding the tears in my eyes just to see you another hour. yet will you ever love me? i may not be pretty to you but you are to me. i wake up feeling like i wanna die just to hear you, see you, experience you, but will you ever love me? will you? would you? if i was pretty? if i was skinner? if i was lighter? if i was perfect? i cry every night knowing that im ugly and fat and will never experience the love you give me in the scenarios i make of us. am i pretty to you? would you give me a chance? if i lose some weight? dont let anyone bring you down knowing this is what someone has told you. i love you.
my unsent message to r.
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