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My mom told me she never wanted me. My dad insulted my best friend and called her a mail order bride. He also called my cousin a slut and tried to shame me anytime I had a boyfriend by saying things to imply that I shouldn’t kiss them in front of him or whatever. There is blatant sexism in my family and it makes me fucking mad. He is so self absorbed, loves hearing the sound of his own voice. Lectures for hours about nothing and forces you to listen, and if you don’t, you’re being rude, which may as well be a fucking crime. He used to hit me a lot. I get yelled at for cursing when he swears up a storm, and makes sexist or racist comments literally everyday. I feel smothered by how much they demand my time and attention but aren’t nice to me during it. If I see my friends at all they get so fucking pissed. Honestly I think they expect me to be a cash cow for them. The brightest, eldest daughter to take care of them. They love my brother more than me. And I love him too, he’s a good kid, if a bit spoiled, but it did hurt to grow up and to know that they just didn’t love me like that. He could have anything he wanted if he just asked. I tried to kill my self twice and they didn’t say a word. He sneezes wrong and it’s right to the hospital. I get blamed for things I got genetically from them, and they act like it’s simply an issue of me not forcing my will into a literally problem with my organs. It’s like they don’t want to waste medical attention on me. They give him so much attention and support and I always felt so alone growing up. They’d try to gaslight me into thinking nothing was wrong or that I was really the problem, when I know the truth. Anything we did was done for him, no matter how much it would hurt me. I was a little older, a little tougher, I could take it. I just wanted to feel loved and secure. They’d tell me things like that my friends didn’t love me and that only family will always be there for you. I don’t feel very loved around them though, and for that to be the pinnacle of love I’ll ever experience? I’d rather be dead than be loved like that. I love my friends and I’ll always stick up for myself and for them. My friends allow me to feel emotions and treat me like a human about them. They’d never yell at me or make fun of me for crying. They wouldn’t call me a crazy bitch and say that they hated me.
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Hey I'm glad you're here and I'm sorry for the lack of respect and mistreatment you've been given by your family. You matter as much as they do. You're probably a better person than all of them. Use that as an example of who not to be like to others. Thank you for existing and being a wonderful humanbeing. We need more people like you. Have a good day :)
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