What are you looking for?
My problems, and myself.
1 week ago ·
To be honest, this may be unreal but I am struggling with PTSD, Anxiety, and depression. I don’t want to sound like a pick me, but I’m serious. I don’t know if I wanna die, I mean I wanna disappear but I don’t wanna yk, die. Everything is hard, too hard. I can’t do this anymore. I’m only a minor, my parents give me trauma from when I was 5. They always hit me, and verbally abuse and yell at me for the smallest things. I’m a cold and soft hearted person, I’m sensitive but quiet and ignorant. I’m too afraid to drive anyone away from me. I just—wanna go back in time and fix everything. It feels like everything is just going away from me one by one. Everything can come and go, so will I. I don’t understand why people just are so—cruel. Please, take me back. I’ve dealt with trauma, a lot. I only feel safe alone in my room. I don’t want to do this. No more. Everytime I get yelled at in a loud voice, all I can think about is
“Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry for gods sake. You can’t let
anyone see you like this—not now. Be strong, be a strong girl. They
only do this because they love you, nothing else.”
After that, I just go in my room, tears in my eyes. But then
a second later, I cry and cry. It doesn’t stop. I keep on trying to accept that they love me, but it just feels wrong and unreal. All of these years, I feel like I’m unreal and life is just a toy.
If anyone feels like this, I’m so sorry bb. Get through it, even if your passion drops on the way. Just pick it up, even if it’s bruised and dirty, you can do it. Don’t be like me, a failure.