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I always wondered what people meant by the phrase “things are always good in the beginning.” Now I see what they meant by that. I feel like it wasn’t even that long ago my boyfriend would always call me pretty, do little things for me, and appreciate the things that I do for him. Now we’ve been together for a while and it feels like he’s not in love with me about 60% of the time. By that I mean he just does not love me the same way I love him, and I understand you can’t expect love to come easy but I thought it was? He still hasn’t said he loves me yet and I feel like that’s one of the things that’s scaring me (and the fact that he is friends with his ex who he was really in love with). I feel like you can do so much for a person and try so hard but it will just not matter to them. I talked to him a while ago and asked him why he doesn’t call me pretty anymore and he said that he wasn’t meaning to do that to me. He was doing it again for a second and then bam, back to the same stuff. When I show him affection or emotion sometimes it feels like it weirds him out almost, not that he does anything I just feel like theres a shift sometimes. I also have bad anxiety and read into things very intensely, so whenever he does little things to make me feel like he doesn’t like me I think, “Why doesn’t he like me anymore? Did I do something?” then just overthink that last hour we spent together. It sucks when you want someone to care about you as much as you care about them and they just don’t want to. I just want to know why it feels like this, and I want to ask him about it, but I can’t. If I bring this up it’ll start a while situation that I don’t want to start so I usually just sit there and have it running through my head all day. I’m a very anxiously attached person and this is my first relationship at the age of 21, I don’t ever want to lose him so I know I have to put these worries aside and just let the relationship develop slowly, but it’s just so hard when I feel like the love I show is not reciprocated. I just don’t know what to do and needed a rant, feel free to drop any advice
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Looks like you already know the answer to your situation. Stick with your gut. Also. Always choose yourself first. :) no one deserves to not be loved the same way they want to be loved. Unless they're a completely terrible person of course.
ReplyI’m so hesitant, I don’t want to be the one to throw things away if there’s a chance he might one day. The uncertainty is just so hard for me but I care for him so deeply.
Replyif you are unhappy but truly believe there is a way to work things out, you two should talk about this. going into details and saying what's on your mind is important, you want to give him the full picture and get him to understand why you're feeling this way. if he's a jerk about it, then you're dodging a bullet and it's his loss, not yours.
ReplyLeave him. He isn't that into you. It will hurt at first but it will help you so much in life. Learning how to leave relationships when they aren't working anymore is a skill few of us learned early enough in life. If you can start practicing that now you will end up a lot happier. It's pretty clear from reading your words that you need to leave him and find someone who will stay into you. It does happen, but only with really great guy who are hard to find. Don't fret if it takes you a decade, you are young. Life is long.
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