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I have tried self harming before to cope. I attempted to cut, but never went through with it. What I did was I took the sharpest pen/pencil I could find and dug it into my arm until I couldn't handle it anymore. I did it for a year. I haven't done it in a few months, but I do have really strong urges sometimes. I felt like a coward for not going all the way, for not cutting, which is so messed up to think.
I feel like there has to be something so wrong or messed up in someone's thoughts or emotions that makes them think that hurting themselves will help. I feel like you have to be in such a deep rut to go that far. At least that's how it was for me. I have been really depressed for several months now, but I still haven't cut. I haven't dug a pen in my arm. But I'm feeling really close. I'm trying to stay strong, and praying that I don't go that far again.
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