What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
If you are in crisis and need immediate help, please call 1-800-273-8255 (NSPL) or text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line). More resources.
My dad was a Vietnam War veteran and was shot many times, once in the forehead and out the top; this led to him being the sadistically abusive and dangerous monster that he is today.
My earliest memories were of him beating my mom with a 2x4 and her crying, trying to climb the back fence to escape but she kept getting pulled off and laughed at. She finally moved out and could not tell anyone in fear for her life and the lives of me and my brother. I wanted to go with her, but she said "no" and abandoned me and my brother. We never saw her again since.
After that, my dad found this Russian lady and married her so she could get citizenship. She was just evil as it gets. That's when I really started to get beat. She hated me with a passion, and all Americans for that matter. She made me do home-school after I got out of school just to torture me. I would have to read huge books that I did not understand and write reports on them; I even had to study Russian history and Russian literature in addition to writing down math problems Russian-style for good measure. She would get mad when I asked for help or did not understand words. She would slap me on the ears, yell at me and spit on me, throw me to the ground and still make me read. Then she would make me write things like "I am stupid" a thousand times. I was so scared to even sleep. I never showered. I was tortured at school from all the kids when I was allowed to go. When I would lash out at people, the school would call my dad, When I got home, and got beat for hours, punched, the belt with a huge buckle on it. Then my step cunt would come home from work and strip me naked and spit on me, put out cigarettes on me. One time, she took my skid-mark underwear and stuffed it in my mouth and got my dad to beat me some more while she then sat back and laughed. I was black and purple. I had welts from chest to knees. I was forced to stand, staring at the corner. This happened countless times. I would be locked in my room for weeks, till I was healed enough to go to school. I once chewed a piece of gum for ten days straight as I lay on the floor, hoping to die.
They would praise my brother in front of me and shower him with gifts. He was brainwashed into believing that I was a bad kid.
This is barely the tip of the iceberg. It went on for 15 years
When my grandma died, they stole my inheritance and moved away and abandoned me in their process. I never saw them again. I was very sick. Suicidal. I wandered the streets until I wound up in prison for 3 years for stealing a truck. A few years after I got out, I finally got the nerve to seek help.
I am on Zoloft, and it helps a lot. But I guess I appear normal on the outside, because my counsellor keeps telling me I'm doing better, and is there anything else I would like to work on. I tell her I don't know and that I have given up. She calls me a success, even when I tell her I am lonely, that I feel out of place, that have no aim in life.
I don't know where to go from here. I am completely exhausted with life. I have no more will to live. I don't know what to do.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
A Spolied Brat Who Always Bites
Tonight I’m remembering how my little brother used to bite me. It’s common for children to be biters. From when he grew teeth to when he was 10, whenever he...
-
A Cruel Father
I grew up in Missouri with my older brother Jacob and younger sister Renée. My parents were extremely awful; in fact, they drank a lot and were always high on...
My heart is broken reading your story
Im sorry you went through that as a child
The fact that you made it shows that you are strong and resilient
Every day is a new day, you do not have to let your past define your future, you CAN change your story from this day forward
An example of this is by helping other people that are going through similar circumstances
I wish you all the best in your journey, fellow human
You are loved
ReplyMy heart is broken reading your story
Im sorry you went through that as a child
The fact that you made it shows that you are strong and resilient
Every day is a new day, you do not have to let your past define your future, you CAN change your story from this day forward
An example of this is by helping other people that are going through similar circumstances
I wish you all the best in your journey, fellow human
You are loved
ReplyMy dad fled to Mexico during the Vietnam war. Apparently at the border when they were questioning him, why they should let him in (because they weren’t letting draft dodgers through) his friend said they were going to some city that had a lot of prostitution so they let him in. So you know, if there’s ever a time that comes again where they start drafting people, it might be good to know “I wanna go to a whore house” is a legitimate reason to flee the country.
ReplyMy dad fled to Mexico during the Vietnam war. Apparently at the border when they were questioning him, why they should let him in (because they weren’t letting draft dodgers through) his friend said they were going to some city that had a lot of prostitution so they let him in. So you know, if there’s ever a time that comes again where they start drafting people, it might be good to know “I wanna go to a wh0re house” is a legitimate reason to flee the country.
ReplyYour heart and mind endured the remnants of two conflicts that manifested in these people. Both of them were terribly damaged as people, and it was wrong of them to use you as an effigy to impart their suffering on. You have grown immensely as a person, and I am proud of your progress. Take time to appreciate your triumphs, and if your heart needs more time to heal, you can take as much time as you need. You will do great in each endeavor you seek in love *hug*
Reply