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Post election greif
5 years ago · · election, · Explicit
It is 4:00 in the morning, and I really cannot sleep. I read, and research, something that ive been told to stay far away from because it is detremental to my already poor mental stability. Yet i just can't... My mind has already been consumed by the virus of festering animosity. It cannot be killed for it is not living, and it only continues to grow until I am dead.
What I am bothered by so much, is the 2016 election results. Specifically, the hateful devastation that it has brought to the internet. The aftermath of the election is the equivalent to Ragnorok. The scale of hatred and stigma is on the scale of a war, signaling the end of the world. And even though i dont particularly choose a side, i still feel like no matter where i am, the whole world hates me. The whole world sees me as inferior and idiotic scum, and the whole world thinks im wrong.
And I cant take it. I. JUST. CANT. TAKE. IT!
Though the storm of hatred has died down in the past month, I still cant help but feel like the world carved out my innards just a few minutes ago. When Trump first won, of course I felt angry, betrayed, and wrathful. But before i could bark and rage my anguish, many did before me. And those on the other side responded in kind. I read a variety of things, but everything i read just seemed to tell me, "You are stupid, bigoted, inferior, and have no right to be angry, now shut the fuck up your liberal fucking pussy." While of course thise words may not have been directed at me, those words salted me. It simply proded the lion, begging its maws to try and bite, but it cant. Soon after i had calmed myself, i tried to look in on how both sides felt. And again i was distraught, because i could find little to no reliable sources that could tell me in a non biased way the facts. The only thing i did learn was two things. One, alot of the news this election was false propoganda that people on both sides accepted as truth, and second, both sides always takes the worst representations of eachother and labels everyone as that stereotype.
And this, is why i am so lost. No matter what i do, i keep hearing things shaming me for choosing a particular side. Even if i dont choose either side in particular, i keep hearing so many hateful things, labeling me as a "dumb fucking liberal." Comparing me to an absolutely irrational "social justice warrior." Who doesnt represent my ideals and the ideals of many others at all. If i try to take no stance what so ever, both sides tell me i am weak and cowardly for not choosing one, and should i try to see the other side, i then take the insults and rage of the opposite side...
I just have no where to go... everything is so hateful, i cannot stop being shamed for taking a stance, i cannot stop being compared to the absolute worst of our species, and i cannot try to stay neutral, without both sides feeding me their incredibly one sided propoganda.
And i cant take it. I just cant fucking take it!