Ruin

Ever heard ruin by Shawn Mendez, it's truly amazing and relatable. I always feel empty, like I am missing something. I always feel like I can't breathe, like there is a big big rock on my chest, is that stress? Is that depression? I don't know, I keep thinking thataybe if I scream real hard this pain will vanish, I keep breathing and breathing thinking that maybe this pain will just fade away but it doesn't and I don't get it, at times I feel really happy and enjoying my time, then suddenly something out of nowhere happens and ruins everything, whether it's a person, a thing or whatever, my happiness never lasted for longer than a day, and my heart hurts, I still feel this burden, I feel creeper out and unhappy. I always feel bad about myself and then this burden on my chest makes thing worse and it truly hurts, I've been through a lot and I still am going through lots of pain, but I still try and calm myself down but nothing helps, I just want to cry. Lately, I haven't been getting enough sleep, I keep waking up either late at night or early in the morning, usually I sleep at 2 AM, and when I wake up I still feel sleepy but can't drift back to sleep for unknown reasons :( my life is horrible, and my back has been hurting me for sooooo long but my mom finds no time to take me to the doctor and doesn't bother herself to do so :(