Why All of Us Upper-Middle-Class White Women Living in Brooklyn During the Aftermath of the Election are Part of Problem.

1. Because we walk around like we're so edgy and hip for moving to Brooklyn, while the locals are laughing behind our backs because it's so painfully obvious that we'll only consider living in white privilege bubbles in neighborhoods like Park Slope, Williamsburg, and Brooklyn Heights (unless, of course, we're looking to buy a place, in which case we might be willing to "slum it" for a little while in Clinton Hill or Red Hook until those neighborhoods catch up and gentrify).

2. Because we send our children to private schools instead of contributing that money to our local public schools, which would benefit all different children in our neighborhoods and expose our kids to people of different socio-economic backgrounds instead of sheltering them away in our private school ivory towers.

3. Because we're mean to poor white people for having limited knowledge of other cultures and not being able to afford to travel, and so we call them white trash (while correcting their grammar) and then we are shocked when they don't want to vote for a presidential candidate who so closely resembles ourselves.

4. Because we are kind to minorities when it is convenient.

5. Because we LOVE Brooklyn and own a million Brooklyn t-shirts, yet we will only deliver our babies in Manhattan hospitals.

6. Because we complain incessantly about anything that is inconvenient for us, like when the barista at Starbucks spells one of our names wrong, and we never even consider that she might be in the midst of working a 15 hour day at two different jobs.

7. Because we flaunt our huge diamond engagement rings, which are offensive to so many people who are trying not to have a panic attack that they might get evicted next month because their boss cut their hours at their non-salaried job, or they found out their child needs a root canal that they cannot afford.

8. Because we care about the bachelor, our appointments at dry bar, and our food co-op more than we care about the local kids who are being pushed out of the neighborhood because we are driving up rent prices.

9. Because we are boring. The lack of survival-specific stress in our lives makes us dull and uninteresting to any person whose life has made for a good story, if nothing else.

10. Because our children are also boring. And overly sheltered.

11. Because we say the most transparent & elitist things ever like, "I only watch the British version of the office" or "That restaurant is so pedestrian" and then we expect people to take us seriously when any other words spill out of our mouths.

12. Because we seem to forget that we are the second-least-oppressed group in the entire country right now, and most of us are married to white men, who are the #1 least oppressed demographic, and while we reap all the benefits of being part of the majority, we act like we are the authority on oppression and our word is gospel.

13. Because we end truthful yet judgmental posts like this one with the hashtag #sorrynotsorry, which is exactly what I am going to do right now.

#sorrynotsorry