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I'm not sure if my title was right but I'm just gonna talk about it everything here. So, ever since I left school, all I ever wanted in my life is freedom. But yeah I'm a 21 years old woman, student, muslim and unmarried, it is quite impossible for me to have that kind of freedom. I lied to my parents all the time. I never told them where I'm actually going (I don't like spending time at home because of the negative people, also most of the time I go out alone or maybe with my boyfriend), who's my friend (my family always worried I might friend with the wrong kids) & what I did with my friends (I believe that I'm gonna be responsible for whatever I did with my friend so no worries, we learn by mistake) . & to be honest, I'm comfortable in that way. I know it's wrong, but that's just the way I am. I need privacy in my life. I don't want my family to know everything about me. Why would they need to know everything when they'd never care about my feelings in the first place? I have broken family. I lived with my mom. Mom got married to a man who has a wife. Mom's the second wife. The man, who is my stepdad is a real coward. He took care of me since I was in my mom's. But i hate him because he makes my mom's life miserable. My dad married to a widower. So, practically, I have 3 moms and two dads. I thought life could be easier (you know, more love and money? haha), but no. IT IS WORSE. It's a fucked up family. Ok done with the family tree. Now, back to the topic. People would think I'm selfish. But i don't care. This is my life and I know what's best for me. My family can't claim to know me more because I never let they know the real me. Over the past few weeks, my desire to stay alone becomes more intense to the extent, i booked a one night stay at a hotel just because i need to be alone. I don't mean to run away from my responsibilities and family. I just had enough of all the bullshits I've been getting from the people I lived with. I hate being controlled. I just want to do what I wanna do without worrying what my parents and family gonna say. I feel pressured & it's not a good thing, right? How do I make them clear?
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Talk to them directly. Make sure it is what you want and NOT what someone is making you do or making you think you want to do.
If you need help talk to family they will help you!
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