What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
I'm stuck.
6 years ago · 3
880
I honestly felt like I was right where I was supposed to be. Kind of like I was on the road that was taking me where my heart would feel whole and there would be minor worries. It was almost like meeting you was what was supposed to happen and now this change feels like I'm being torn off of that road and going in the opposite direction I was headed. I feel like I'm going the opposite way knowing that I'm going to get lost, but I'm so stuck and afraid of a new way that to me, there is no other way. It's so rare to find someone who you instantly connect with. It's almost like you knew them in a past life. The connection is so strong that you know that they're there for a reason. Have you ever met someone and the moment you start to have your first conversation it's like you have known them forever? It's a magical feeling...and it's also a rare one at that. I don't know much about writing, or about grammar. All I want to be able to do is express my feelings and for whoever is reading to be able to connect with me, relate to me, or just even understand without judging me. I never thought that I would be a person to fall out of love with someone so pure, and kind hearted and end up falling in love with someone I was getting to know over a eight month period, but here I am. Infected with the love bug which somewhat feels mutual. It's hard to tell though. I just have this weird overwhelming feeling that I'm being pulled away from what my heart is attracted to...and it's honestly one of the most heart wrenching things in the world to battle with yourself over things like this. You know that you've gone through every possible choice that you could make but still none of them are easy. None of them could be made without leaving a deep mark on the inside of not only your heart, but someone else's too. The type of mark that takes way too much time to heal. The type of mark that changes who you are. The worst mark you could ever think of. See, this type of mark is a lot worse than a physical mark. Physical marks hurt at first, but then they heal and stop hurting over a week's amount of time. This type of mark is deep in the heart...you can't see it but you can feel how deep the wound is and you have no idea how to deal with it...but despite all of that hurt that I could cause, all of the anger and brokenness, I know that you are where I belong.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Would love some advice
I'm not suicidal per say. I just think. I go to work. I come home, and I have nothing to do. I watch tv with my husband. I play with my dog. But it's all the sa...
-
I want to leave
Today I have finally realized that my relationship is officially over. We have been together 5 1/2 years and have a beautiful daughter together but I cannot tak...
Don't feel bad because you would be doing them a favor by leaving.
If you have been talking to someone else for eight months enough to fall in love. ...you were basically cheating.
I feel bad for whom ever ends up with you.
ReplyI completely understand what you're going through. I'm not judging you. I went through something similar except it wasn't mutual. So I don't have to choose. That sounds rotten. All of those feelings though do made me question my current relationship and our future.
ReplyWow. Apparently it is very difficult for humankind to keep from being judgemental. There is so much pain and anger burried wiithin us all, I guess.That being said, I understand. Sometimes we can not help who is forced into our lives, and sometimes it doesn't take anything more than a look in the eyes to start that connection. It is the most amazing thing in the world, and the most tragic.Unfortunately for me, I choose to ignore this connection the best I can and it causes a war within myself that is unimaginable for anyone who has never experienced it. On one hand, I am true to my integrity, and am happy with myself for that. On the other hand, I am untrue to my heart and what feels like my life's mission. It almost feels like I am going against some divine plan, but you have to do what is right for you and what you can live with. That is why I made the choice I made.It's easier for me to deal with this than to watch someone I care about hurt because of me. I'd rather be in pain than to cause it. And it makes it so much easier to convince myself that fairy tales don't exist. This can't be divine. It must be the complete opposite: pure evil, temptation. A test.
Reply