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I am not sure why I cry at times when alone. I get sad for no reason. I feel people laughs at me or that's what I've thought, I am not sure if people are telling the truth, mostly I believe they are just lying.
Am I crazy or just paranoid?
I feel so depressed. Yesterday, I feel so sad just looking at the rain pouring.
I am so desperate to talk to someone about how I feel, but I'm scared they laugh at me. I told my father about it once and he laughed at me.
I read books, blogs and researched, I might be or not depressed.. I see some characteristics although some might just be because of people I am around.
I sometimes can't sleep thinking too many things but I get sleepy mostly when I need to work on something.
My mind and heart doesn't work well.
Why is my heart aching?
Why do I feel desperate of someone to love me but then I'm pushing him away?
I don't know where this is going but sometimes I just feel sad without any reason, then I try to think and make a reason and justify my sadness.
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yea this is also exactly what i feel like right now
ReplyHi, i'm a sixteen years old guy and i know it's normal for teenagers my age to feel anxiety and depression but i've been feeling it for a while now roughly a year and i believe that now is the time to share my feelings. i've been wanting to do this for a long time now but i don't know where to write my rants. I would really appreciate it if someone help me through this somehow.Lately i've been feeling this anxiety that makes me feel so unimportant, not just anxiety that makes me feel that but i feel like people mostly my friends doesn't really care about me. For example, i just turned 16 this month and i feel like i have about 100 friends that knows me quite well and only like 30 of them congratulated me on my birthday this made me feel so depressed for a couple while cuz it just makes me feel so unimportant. I feel like i am too good to other people i helped many people with their problems and a lot of things in their lives and when it's my turn to have a problem no one really cares. When i do things for people and when its their turn to do something for me they wouldn't really care except for like 3 of my close friends. It goes to show that i live in a really fake society that is based on how popular you are and on your looks, skills, etc. and i've not realized it until now. Maybe the things i said are not true and that i'm just experiencing anxiety. I'm so tired of people just using me especially some friends. My family owns a well renowned restaurant in and maybe they are just befriending me to get a free meal and discounts which i usually give them all the time. It's the sad truth but this might be the possibility of why people befriends me and disappears when i need them. Sorry if my english is bad i'm just rushing through my thoughts and typing about what comes up in my head. If some people feel the same be sure to tell me and we can talk about it.Although i don't think thats the major cause of my anxiety and depression i believe it comes from my family, especially my Father. In my opinion my dad he is an excellent role model but i don't think he is a good dad. Everyone has flaws but i am scared to point it out to him because he is usually in denial and likes to neglect other people's opinions. First of all my dad isn't close to me at all i am not comfortable telling him anything all we have in common is that we like films, cooking, and football(soccer), business, and politics. but those topics are not enough to bring family members together. Second my dad likes to force me into doing things that are totally unnecessary and he likes to always find faults in me which i hate but i can't argue with him because he is always in denial and uses his "head of the family" authority, we are an asian family so respect for fathers are really high here. Third my dad likes to make it seems like he knows everything and always try to be on top of me. He also is too clingy he treats me like a child and likes to repeatedly call me during the days and i have to hear him repeat himself all over and that gets annoying. It is hard to explain myself here and there are too many times that my dad caused me depression that i forgot so many but just know that i feel very uncomfortable with him and that he causes me depression he also doesn't really like to respect my personal space and likes to not do things balancely if thats a word. For example, when we visit my mom's parents and there are only some family members there he would buy loads of souvenior and fruits and the result is that no one can finish it. Also my dad's logic is kind of like old people's logic which totally contradicts mine. Everytime that my dad comes home and if he sees that the house is dirty and that it's obviously wasn't me who did it he still made me clean it eventhough we have a maid. He would order me to do this do that without my consent like i was his personal errant boy or something. He would always compare me with someone else's kids or himself when he was younger he doesn't compare the goodness but the faults which totally make me depress. He also has a way to high expectations of me and that's also the cause of anxiety. this is how i feel
ReplyHey there... i know how you feel, and while i can't say you certainly have depression, but it sounds like you have alot of the same symptoms i do. I'm diagnosed with clinical Depression. Its not caused by anything. But it causes one to feel often feel depressed for no random reason. If you want any support or help im willing to listen as ive been through the same and i can try my hardest to help.
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