What are you looking for?
Featured Topics
Select a topic to start reading.
I dont know why lately im feeling empty. Maybe because at the age of 19 I ve been to my friends funeral so many times , its just weird. It really does. One minute you had a talk with one of your classmate and the next day , you have to give an eulogy . You know life suppose to be like in those American movies, where being young is epitome of one`s life , where being young is a 24/7 of summer, where anything can happen but I ve never really thought that 'anything' is me had to go 7 funeral in a span of 3 month. Then the thought of my parent dying began playing in my mind like crazy. Part of me worried because they are really old like in their mid 60`s and I just want them to live for another 50 years if I could , I know it sound absurb but Im scared if they were gone , Im unable to take care of myself, it sound selfish but I dont want them living an old age not having slight memory of whom they were. Quite frankly the thought of them aging slowly with losing their memory scares as equally as losing them to death. I dont really know how would I bounce back if they were just dead one day. Im supposed to enroll into university this fall but I m afraid if i go and what if i got a called telling me that one of my parent die , it scares me so much that at some time I dont want to go out , i just want to sit in my room. I know I feel scared because even though I have sibling but I never believe blood is thicker than water because I know it s not the truth. No one will help me except my parent, im only 19 and all my other sibling are in their late 30`s ,talk about the age gap .Im just getting too obsessed with the idea of my parent dying i just cant get no sleep anymore. I just need to vent it out because i cant vent it out to my family , i just need to write about it. I dont know when will i get over it maybe i wont.The people that are the same age as I am who went to same class as I do either die because of motorcycle accident or swimming or just freak accident and the last funeral I went was one of my friend who had cancer cervix and her death was painfully slow, she look quite peaceful but I know its torture. I thought she would make it, i really did but she didn`t the night of first of April and even though she `s dead but i like to pretend that she isnt just to make thing feel normal. I would not know how i would react if my parent die, would i cry my eye out, would i just simply passing the day feeling empty and knowing I would not have anyone else to actually whine about the problem i have with my sister? Would my soul be broken in 24 ? I honestly dont want to know.
If you see a comment that is unsupportive or unfriendly, please report it using the flag button.
More Posts
-
Terrifying Decisions
I want to live with my mom. I live with my dad right now. My dad is really strict he doesn't even want us having a phone because we got in trouble for talking t...
-
Lonely me
I wonder y god created such apartial world.Woman is nothing its all in words tht v both r equal but its not true...... Life take a u turn after marriage Once...