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I feel like I am being tormented. All that I want out of life is to be loved the way that a man loves a woman. I want that love that gets written about in books and is portrayed in movies. But it seems that this is the wrong decade for that. We live in the era of hookups, where people live together for years and have kids, but still don't want to put titles on things or get married. I don't want to play house. I don't want to give myself to someone that is unwilling to commit.
Maybe I have high standards, or maybe the standards of relationships have changed and I am out of date. Why is it so hard to find someone special? Why is it so hard to find someone loyal?
What amazes me is that I see all these couples and relationships on my timeline, and in my face in public, and yet, when I mention that I want someone for myself I get chastised and told that I need to be patient and wait. "Work on yourself and he will come." Who the hell said that I need to work on myself? Just because I am single and looking, that obviously means that I hate myself and need to love myself? When has that become a thing to tell single people? And what annoys me the most is that comments like that come from people who are already in a relationship. Why is it such a bad thing to want someone for yourself? Why is it seen as a weakness? I have never experienced love, and I doubt it exist anymore. No one in this era is compatible of loving only one person and staying faithful. And no one believes in love the way that it should be, the way that it used to be. I don't want to be a hookup or a one night stand. But it seems that is the only way to go if anything is going to be done around here.
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The friends you talk to, as I understand it, have good intentions, but are blind to your problem. Only a heart which deeply understand the need for profound love can understand it, and not question it. The kind of love which is decisive to make you stay longer in this world.From their perspective, they feel content with their life, and don't understand why you don't. Their intentions are good, again, but their toolshed isn't pro edition. Then, isn't it upsetting to want something which isn't there yet? I too have never experienced love. And I too have few craving for the carnal vanities my neighbors cherish. At least not to the point of wasting my time and energy, not if something so much better, so much elating, so much passion-inducing is perceivable."It's litterature, it's not real", they say. Breaking news : Writers, poets, artists aren't geniuses. They simply write about what they know. The best romances are written with experience. Ever heard of Pouchkine? Read how he lived, especially how he died. The worst romances are clumsy imitations of the best romances. Movies? I act for fun. I'm very good according to my peers. The secret? I'm not faking anything. Real strong feelings, you can't learn it. You can't fake it, unless you're a genius faker. The romances in fictions are born from reality. Too bad most people fail to understand it. Most people don't even need this kind of romance. That doesn't mean you have to make the same decision they do.Today you may not hold this love eternal you so cherish. But remeber this : you see it. They do not know you perceive a better happiness. About their "wait til it comes", I know this message is usually a correct answer, but it seems vague, distant, a cold shoulder with a pretty wrapping. What about the pain of waiting. What about the pain of loving, so cherishable when you already understand how it breaks the Earth in half, when it gives you enough power to face any god there might be, and ask him to rearrange the universe without an ounce of a doubt in your voice...Strong hearts deserve Strong feelings. And Strong feelings are born from Strong relations.My advice would be...
...they say "wait til it comes". But that's incomplete. Patience and Courage. Courage, because you are right. Because you want something even though no one understands it. Your will resists the test of adversity. It is then true, deep. The day you will wait, you may face adversity again, and you will have to fight doubt, accesses of desperation, the unbearable sickness on the verge of losing sight of your dream...But beyond your victory, your happiness will be a thousand times better than any of your "hook-up"-happy friends.In conclusion, and write this down in your heart, open your notebook. Good news. You've been waiting for someone all your life. Guess what. That very person has long waited for you too. Same pain, same isolation in the face of adversity, same wish for eternal love.You both need to be courageous. And you two will meet. The happiest day of your life may happen on a rainy day. Life is weird.Patience and Courage. Have a nice day.
ReplyThey don't know what they talk about.
Screw the era, it clearly doesn't know any better.
True love does exist. He might be waiting for you out there. True love does exist. I'm looking for it too.
Reply