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I've been married 7 years and with the same person for 8. The last 4 of the years have been awful. The deployment he took in the army tore us apart and we both changed. Or rather; I changed and he didn't offer any support while I was going through hell. I have mental illnesses as well. The last two years we haven't even had sex. I know he loves me because he stays by my side through all of this. And he's trying to make up for the things he's done in the past that pushed me away. I've been trying to get my feelings back for him because I do care about him and I want the best for him. But I feel as though we've changed completely and it breaks my heart. To make matters worse; I have strong feelings for someone else now. I would NEVER act on those while in a marriage. The person doesn't even have a clue I have those feelings and it shall remain that way. But I still feel like I'm a horrible person. My husband has made alarming threats in the past and I'm scared a decision to leave could result in great tragedy. I'm stuck and I've been drinking every single day to cope. I don't know what to do...
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