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We were friends with benefits and we walked into something we didn't expect. It had only been 4 months that seemed like a whole year, there was more stress than anything towards the end of month 3. In the beginning after sex i started to subconsciously look at him as a boyfriend even though i didn't see this consciously, i looked at him as a fraternal twin for my sanity. He is the first guy i ever told about my herpes (not including the person who gave it to me), I cried my heart away and he told me "I hope you don't think this means nobody will ever love you".... Little did he know, I did *sigh* but he changed my perspective on that. He actually had me considering the thought of me actually being loved again even with this baggage. He made me feel like i was sitting down with a different version of my [heart] which was who he is (with personification). Then a switch flipped and i didn't see it but him. He didn't understand why there was a change this intellectual. through my lenses he started to look like every other person that walks in and out of my life just to ruin my spirit. So i stopped trusting, i stopped listening, i started to get angry, i started to shut down and then.... I pushed him away, like a child that doesn't know how to swing there feet yet. i just pushed & pushed until he was gone . . . .
So i thought,
he called me from his house phone that night and we talked until i came to the realization of how i was treating my friend. I Actually felt his feelings for the first time in 4 months, i understood the purity in his heart of gold and I seen his love. & all i had to do was Just Listen to Mr.Johnson ..
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I was in something very similar to this situation...friends with benefits never ends well...
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