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Tonight i had a panic attack. I don’t think my ex would understand the pain. I couldn’t breath, i couldn’t stop shaking i couldn’t stop crying and I thought I was going to die. It's a complicated thing between me and him...
yeah i still text him sometimes to make sure hes okay but he keeps on saying he wants to get back together.. I wasn’t scared but the first few seconds (of my panic attack) I wanted it to end; I wanted to just be gone. Caffeine can cause panic attacks but I've been fine the past three weeks I've drank it every morning… I just want to see him and hug him and cry i don’t want to say no and i don’t want to say yes (he asked me out again but my trust walls are just to high and i don't feel like trusting anyone anymore which really makes an impact on my life..) I just want everything to be okay between us… it’s like we're stuck with me not trusting anything he says.. or is it me not trusting myself?
/// A few days later...
It was terrible…. He asked about some girl again… and I DON’T WANT HIM TALKING TO HER. If he was, that honestly would drive me over the edge seeing how shes affected his friend group… I would kill myself if she ever got to him to be totally honest... Well he was mine and i still want him to be mine after all of the things he promised me…. He still hasn’t shown proof… maybe i’ll get it someday…? Ugh… i just want to SI. but i am stopping myself i’m trying to not assume the worst in everything i’m trying to not hurt myself anymore… I want to love myself more just ughhh... i sound so stupid.. all i do is ramble on and on sorry its so long...
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ReplyIf you are facing the problem of panic attacks, you should consider visiting the psychiatrists or therapists. Doing meditation also helps to avoid panic attacks. Secondly, if you want him, simply talk to him. If he truly loves you, he will never prefer any other girl over you. Then you'll know about his real feelings for you. Don't let the panic attacks the reason for your separation. It's a disease and it has a cure. Visit doctor and you'll feel well with medications and therapies.
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