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No one really knows the pain I feel inside. My mistakes and lost motivation always eating me alive. Luckily in my case, I don’t need suicide.
Without the meds help, my health will do it itself.
As my counts get higher, I get higher; With no desire to prosper and grow. Dreaming of making it big and time of retire, those are thoughts that I won’t know.
People see my potential, but I see my destruction, maturing but moving no where. With lack of care, like obstruction, not blaming anyone or claiming life is unfair.
The minimal amount of guidance and discipline contradicts my strong will and respectful manners. How can I be so giving, and creative, yet want to hurt my friends and relatives?
I find it relevant, that I feel so irrelevant, with the amount of support I receive daily. No one will understand my choice, yet be so grieved, that they want to hate me.
Nothing sedates me, constant stress and worry about not having it . Hence, why I can’t save, and shoot for the stars like I shoot in my veins, the most untold.
I can hide a secret, but can’t hide my money, gambling my fate and fortune. Unlucky isn’t what I am, I’m unlike any other person.
My deep understanding marks my shallow thoughts, swimming through an enigmatic mind. Climbing the towers of anxiety, depression flows, like a river of time.
(Unfinished)
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