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I want to die. I’ve decided that’s my decision. I’ve drank a bottle of NyQuil and 1800 with vodka. I feel euphoric. I’ve talked to suicide prevention. The voices tell me it doesn’t matter. My speech is slurred. Eyes burn. Legs like jello. I’ve barricaded myself in my room. There’s a family dinner tonight. Will I die? If not will I feel pain when I wake? i don’t feel anything anymore. Life has no meaning. I’m alone, just as I was born. Wish i wasn’t. I hate myself. Room spinning. Why me? I help everybody. No one helps me. I get scrutinized. No one cares. They all lie. No more tears. Eyes heavy. Why? They tell me there’s no point in living. Bills. Loans. Bills. Emotions. Why? I don’t want to feel anymore. They don’t understand. I try. I try so hard. There’s no place for me in this world.
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hey , wanna talk ?
ReplyI don't know what has happened in your life to make you feel such pain but I sit here just want to say.... please don't. Please understand that whilst at the darkest of times, there may always be... in the darkest and deepest corner, someone who understands and wants to talk this through with you. May this be someone who you work with, go to school with, a long lost relative who grew up with or an anonymous person on the internet but please know that are you never alone.
Replyplease don't.
Reply