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If he was or did cheat on me. I wouldn't dare give him another chance. I hope he would never keep me in the dark about betraying me. He isn't a bad person but like everyone he isn't perfect.
I don't think he should hold on to me, if such a thing were done behind my back. I never want to put myself in that situation again. I never want to allow another man to hurt me again. I've given myself to him and more. Dispite loving him so much and how he's wonderful to me. Love isn't enough to heal what has already been destroyed, at least not for me. I would have no choice but to leave him, If he did that to me. It would be unfair for anyone to be kept in the dark from the truth. There's no excuse or justification. It's difficult for me to trust but trust in men especially..
It's difficult to let go the idea that a man will hurt me. Everyone wants to be loved and everyone deserves to be loved and be happy, in the right way and in a selfless way.
I've been hurting enough and I have suffered enough in heartbreak. Having a commited and loyal partner seems difficult to find more and more. Being loyal/faithful, as I am. It can be frustrating to have come across men in the past who aren't loyal/faithful or are afraid of commitment.
I truly hope he has the strength to be loyal and faithful dispite his past mistakes (before me). That he has learned from it.
I struggle to trust and believe that he truly loves me.. perhaps I'm blindsided as I struggle to love myself. Me having feelings of not being good enough. Under all the mess I can be sometimes. My heart is full of love, I am no doubt a hopeless romantic. The one I love and I desire in so many levels is someone I cherish, admire,appreciate, respect. I would do so much for that special someone in my life, even if I had so little to give or if I only had my heart to give. He is that special someone to me. I show my love for that person. The one I truly fell in love with. I want to be loved in the right way. He does and says what he means. He acts so good to me and always been there for me as much as I have for him.
The problem is in the back of my mind, I have this fear that I might get hurt and have my heartbroken again. That I gave love a shot again and fail. You might say it's better to love then not love at all. I just want to ensure I am in good hands going my heart. That I am protected in the arms of a loving man who loves me for me and vice versa.
I could careless about the materialistic aspects so much. Money has little value against love. Small but sweet gestures could brighten up my day. To hear my lovers laugh and see him smile. It makes me happy to see him happy. I want to make him always feel good sexually,emotionally and mentally.
I have had my moments of being bitter towards love... I dislike to admit it, because I got hurt from being in love with the wrong person in the past. I shouldn't deny that I do believe in love. I should embrace it.
How can I over come trust issues and knowing I have the right man in my life?
All I ask from the universe is to just help me out alittle. Have at least one good thing in my life. Having to finally found a faithful,loving,sincere man. I hope its him. In the mean time I continue on my journey of self growth, improve myself and be the best I can be. To my love and others I care for. I want things to work out for everyone in a healthy and positive way.
Is it too much to ask...??
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