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Angry, Lonely and Isolated
4 years ago · · Alone In Anxiety
I feel lonely and isolated. I feel like I have to wear the costume of a confident, independent and detached person. It is my job to demonstrate balance to my students, to teach and improve them and I feel like an imposter. I feel anxiety--trapped in this town and worried that I will not be able to leave.
I am deeply disappointed when people don't live up to their word and am overwhelmed in course-correcting my plans in the wake of their choices.
When I reached out to you, you lashed out and criticized my weakness. I knew you were not available to talk or offer emotional support. It hurt and angered me. I need your emotional support and I feel like it is your responsibility to me. If you do not want to be available to me, don't answer the phone. If you do not want to provide me with support, leave. When you just "show up" to tell me to stop bothering you, it angers me. When you say you've had long day and you are tired, I hear you minimize my daily challenges and exhaustion.
Who can I air my grievances to? Where can I find the recognition that motivates forward action? Why do I put my sense of security into the hands of others? How can I be my own emotional support?