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Realizing I Have Constant Anxiety from Addict Parent
By Novni Community Member
I grew up with a drug-addicted mother and I believe an alcoholic father. My life was chaotic (very grateful my dad was stable and reliable) and I was yelled at for making mistakes, for doing things 'wrong' according to my parents, for having emotions (especially crying), or just randomly. I grew up repressing my feelings and jumping from high to high (not from street drugs - think literal roller coasters, parties, drinking, dancing, adrenaline sports) to not feel alone with them. I had bulimia last year for 4 months during a particularly stressful time - still can't believe that happened.
Only recently I realized - I am anxious or worrying about something almost ALL THE TIME. I honestly had no idea because I work SO hard to repress this. I've finally found a close friend who I am opening up to about my anxiety and it feels incredibly freeing to realize I can feel my anxieties and still be 'okay'. I'm growing and improving every day and I hope one day to be fully unrestricted by my anxiety and able to use my talents to help the world - I think it's possible :)