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Proof That Time Heals
By Novni Community Member
A few months ago I was very low. I thought of suicide every minute of every day. I even wrote here to express the feelings, because I didn't know who I could turn to.
Today I feel great though, so I'd like to tell you what changed and how you might join me in feeling great too.
The biggest thing that changed was that I opened my mouth to a loved one. A friend cornered me at a party and asked why I was so distant and so uninterested in everything going on. I refused, of course, to admit how I felt, but after a short back and forth he managed to finally make me admit that I wanted to end it. To my surprise he didn't react at all really; no tears or anger or confusion. He just paused for a minute then recounted to me the year and a half of his life that he had spent feeling the same way.
I think that we all assume our feelings are wrong because the media tells us they are. The truth, I suspect, is that really we all have it in us to want to die. And to feel wonderful. And to feel loved. And every other feeling out there. Things are looking up for me now, but that's not to say they won't hit bottom again.
My point, whether I've made it clearly or not, is that time is a great river. Like any great river, time is not constant. Sometimes it is deep, sometimes shallow. Sometimes it rages and crashes, sometimes it is gentle and soothing. You cannot control the river's flow. You can only do your best and hope to stay afloat.